My pen is my microphone to the world. When I think of all my best ideas I remember my pen being the first one to convey them. Whether I was writing to myself, God, my audience(whomever they may be) or just hearing myself out loud it was on paper first. Well, maybe it really was in thought first but it had power when it became words on paper. I remember thinking back to when I first lost my voice shortly after the abuse, something that I didn't understand at the time of course. Aren't you supposed to be able to trust the adults in your life as a child? That is what everyone in my world was trying to convey, however I realized quickly that was not an absolute! You know the story, don't you, because it's not new I would discover in the years to come. It was through the experiences that evolved from my rebellion against the man-made rules for girls and how they are suppose to behave that awakened my voice again. There were also those unwritten laws of "our" boundaries of how we were supposed to act because everything was our fought just by the nature of our gender. This awakening stirring inside of me caused me to pull more and more away from others back into myself until I was able to clearly hear again and then something wonderful happened. The flow came through my pen and my life would never be the same because there was a releasing of feelings that was dammed up for so long. Of course all of the rough, nasty, decayed stuff had to flow out first to get to the clear waters but then it was pure freedom and no one could stand in my way. I remember at 15 years old and my love for music lead me to a choir at school whereby a wonderful African American Chorus teacher took me under her wing and directed the flow through my voice out of my head and heart through singing in the Spring Concert. That was the first time at recognizing that one can give themselves over to their passion and it will take on a life of its own. When she played back the lead recording I was performing from Jesus Christ Superstar, "I don't know how to love Him", I was blown away because I did not know who that voice was!
It wasn't until years later after my divorce and three children to raise without child support that I rediscovered to go within to find that voice for survival and rejuvenation. I had to regain courage to go out into the world to be heard and be reckoned with, I would survive! I had to rethink the debilitating words that were currently in my life and how to replace them with more empowering words to push me through victoriously. This began with pulling forward the memories of surviving ill experiences in the past and re-membering what it was in the process that fused me. Affirmations (empowering words) daily were a must once I decided my direction (goals).I was going to become a Cosmetologist and have my own business. I decided that no one was going to control my destiny anymore. I started envisioning my future as I wanted it to be through writing and so it became my reality!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
You Say You Love Me…
You say you love me… I dare to question that love when you so passionately refuse to love yourself. I am with you when you question all that you have been graciously gifted with, while still trying to impersonate to please others. It is only I through your love of yourself that should concern you. I am you and you are me, do you not see? In your secret closet you hear my voice but when you go out into the world my voice becomes faint and you quiver with fear of non-acceptance when it is I who still accepts all your beauty just as you were designed. Have you forgotten the beauty of the great hand that designed your every crest? Seek not the approval of others and know that you are as free as the wind and uncontained. It is at that moment in time that you will recognize you love me as I have always loved you, unconditionally.
You say you love me… I say, when you love you, it reflects your love for me.
You say you love me… I say, when you love you, it reflects your love for me.
Who Am I…?
Who am I, is a question that at different times in my life I've had to ponder.
Now in my sage years, everything is beginning to fall in place. I can now understand
why I wanted to have my own personal sage in my unfolding years. Around every bend
in the journey one wants to know, what’s next but there is no rushing it before its
time,when it comes to understanding.
One spends their entire life gathering, just to get to a point of trying to
figure out how it all fits together. There seems to be a lot of time spent on
denying that certain pieces even belong to ones puzzle of life.
I understand the slow-moving river looking at the vast deep ocean with all of its
wonder and asking the question, who am I; what is my meager purpose?
Then the ocean answering; your magnificent purpose is so significant because you
are an offshoot of me,for all those that need the slow quietness, gentleness of
your waters,for reflection, rebirth, rejuvenation, solitude,reconnection and
everything that brings them back to the deep vastness of who they are is part
of your purpose. Just as you come from me and flow back to me, this is a
reminder to all those that seek your presence, to remember who they are and their
purpose as well.
In observing this dialogue I can hear my own echoes so many times crying out in the
darkness, who am I? It is becoming clear now, I am re-membering, re-membering
back to that deep vastness that connects within me to my true identity, almost lost
in all of the busyness, clamoring voices of confusion trying to distract me
from the faint whisperings of you, echoing back to me, you are
mighty, powerful, and majestic
in all that you are!
Come home little one, find your voice within and allow yourself to hear
your roar, to let the world know, oh yes, who am I?
Now, I remember!!
Now in my sage years, everything is beginning to fall in place. I can now understand
why I wanted to have my own personal sage in my unfolding years. Around every bend
in the journey one wants to know, what’s next but there is no rushing it before its
time,when it comes to understanding.
One spends their entire life gathering, just to get to a point of trying to
figure out how it all fits together. There seems to be a lot of time spent on
denying that certain pieces even belong to ones puzzle of life.
I understand the slow-moving river looking at the vast deep ocean with all of its
wonder and asking the question, who am I; what is my meager purpose?
Then the ocean answering; your magnificent purpose is so significant because you
are an offshoot of me,for all those that need the slow quietness, gentleness of
your waters,for reflection, rebirth, rejuvenation, solitude,reconnection and
everything that brings them back to the deep vastness of who they are is part
of your purpose. Just as you come from me and flow back to me, this is a
reminder to all those that seek your presence, to remember who they are and their
purpose as well.
In observing this dialogue I can hear my own echoes so many times crying out in the
darkness, who am I? It is becoming clear now, I am re-membering, re-membering
back to that deep vastness that connects within me to my true identity, almost lost
in all of the busyness, clamoring voices of confusion trying to distract me
from the faint whisperings of you, echoing back to me, you are
mighty, powerful, and majestic
in all that you are!
Come home little one, find your voice within and allow yourself to hear
your roar, to let the world know, oh yes, who am I?
Now, I remember!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit "Skip Ahead"... By Dr. Bob Moorehead
DID YOU REMEMBER TO CALL YOUR MOM TODAY AND SAY THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU! GETTING BACK TO THE SIMPLE THINGS OF LIFE THAT MEAN SO MUCH WILL BRING YOU THE TRUE WEALTH EVERYONE DESIRES. DO YOU HAVE IT? GRATITUDE, IS YOUR FORTUNE. (If your mother is not still here say it anyway, trust me she hears you. Take it from a mother, she hears you!)
The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less. We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've become long on quantity, but short on quality. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit "Skip Ahead"... By Dr. Bob Moorehead
DID YOU REMEMBER TO CALL YOUR MOM TODAY AND SAY THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU! GETTING BACK TO THE SIMPLE THINGS OF LIFE THAT MEAN SO MUCH WILL BRING YOU THE TRUE WEALTH EVERYONE DESIRES. DO YOU HAVE IT? GRATITUDE, IS YOUR FORTUNE. (If your mother is not still here say it anyway, trust me she hears you. Take it from a mother, she hears you!)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Transformation
Recently I have been reading several books written by Paulo Coelho…whatever this could mean at this time in my life is still unfolding to me…however I am aware of what has been cooking in my kitchen which I will be sharing very soon. Please enjoy a few lines below from Paulo’s book “The Pilgrimage” that struck home with me:
"Everything you have learned up to now makes sense only if it is applied in real life. Don't forget that I described the Road to Santiago to you as the road of the common per¬son; I have said that a thousand times. On the Road to Santiago and in life itself, wisdom has value only if it helps us to overcome some obstacle.
"A hammer would make no sense in the world if there were not nails to be driven. And even given the existence of nails, the hammer would be useless if it only thought, 1 can drive those nails with two blows.' The hammer has to act. To put itself into the hands of the carpenter and to be used in its proper function."
"One more thing," he said, before going in under the falls. "This waterfall will teach you how to be a Master. I am going to make the climb, but there will be a veil of water between you and me. I will climb without your being able to see where I place my hands and feet.
"In the same way, a disciple such as you can never imitate his guide s steps. You have your own way of living your life, of dealing with problems, and of winning. Teaching is only demonstrating that it is possible. Learning is making it possible for yourself"
"Everything you have learned up to now makes sense only if it is applied in real life. Don't forget that I described the Road to Santiago to you as the road of the common per¬son; I have said that a thousand times. On the Road to Santiago and in life itself, wisdom has value only if it helps us to overcome some obstacle.
"A hammer would make no sense in the world if there were not nails to be driven. And even given the existence of nails, the hammer would be useless if it only thought, 1 can drive those nails with two blows.' The hammer has to act. To put itself into the hands of the carpenter and to be used in its proper function."
"One more thing," he said, before going in under the falls. "This waterfall will teach you how to be a Master. I am going to make the climb, but there will be a veil of water between you and me. I will climb without your being able to see where I place my hands and feet.
"In the same way, a disciple such as you can never imitate his guide s steps. You have your own way of living your life, of dealing with problems, and of winning. Teaching is only demonstrating that it is possible. Learning is making it possible for yourself"
Sunday, March 15, 2009
SECRETS AND SHADOWS
Everybody has been asking me when are you going to finish that book and when are you going to let us hear it! So what I have decided to do like any good cook is to let you test taste a spoonful. So here it is…
The discovery of the secrets that had been held in our family for so long always carried the shadows in to my aunties stories that always made me wonder were they real or were they fiction? Auntie always said that a good writer would leave you wondering. Heading into the kitchen to put on a pot of water for hot tea, I reflected on my day. I don't believe it could have been a more empowering day if I had planned it myself. Of course I was resolved to know that it was completely out of my hands at this point. Maybe those books I have been reading lately about the Law of Attraction have more validity to them than I realized. After all I did come back to this small town with thoughts about what I wanted rather than what I didn't want. I think the author referred to that as deliberate thinking or invisioning. You know, (thinking to myself) just maybe, it's true that the teacher appears when the student is ready. Wow, maybe I can turn aunties book into a tool to help others with understanding this Law of Attraction. The more mom and her sister held on to their old stories, the more they got of what they did not want and the story just kept growing. You know what, that could become generational and it kind of proves itself through our family story but now I can tell a new story, my way, with new spices. (Laughing to myself) I’ll have to balance my spices between the hot, sweet and bitter to get my points across. Sierra is very good with her gift through her art. Just maybe this little sleepy town bordering Charleston is ready for some spices. We shall see! Looking out the kitchen window and sipping on my tea, I just exhale while I look at the beautiful colors across the sky with deep russet oranges from the sunset. I don't think this could be a more beautiful moment with the exception of hearing the beautiful laughter of two wonderful women in this kitchen that molded my life into what it is now, forever more. Reflecting back, how I wish that they were still here now!
The discovery of the secrets that had been held in our family for so long always carried the shadows in to my aunties stories that always made me wonder were they real or were they fiction? Auntie always said that a good writer would leave you wondering. Heading into the kitchen to put on a pot of water for hot tea, I reflected on my day. I don't believe it could have been a more empowering day if I had planned it myself. Of course I was resolved to know that it was completely out of my hands at this point. Maybe those books I have been reading lately about the Law of Attraction have more validity to them than I realized. After all I did come back to this small town with thoughts about what I wanted rather than what I didn't want. I think the author referred to that as deliberate thinking or invisioning. You know, (thinking to myself) just maybe, it's true that the teacher appears when the student is ready. Wow, maybe I can turn aunties book into a tool to help others with understanding this Law of Attraction. The more mom and her sister held on to their old stories, the more they got of what they did not want and the story just kept growing. You know what, that could become generational and it kind of proves itself through our family story but now I can tell a new story, my way, with new spices. (Laughing to myself) I’ll have to balance my spices between the hot, sweet and bitter to get my points across. Sierra is very good with her gift through her art. Just maybe this little sleepy town bordering Charleston is ready for some spices. We shall see! Looking out the kitchen window and sipping on my tea, I just exhale while I look at the beautiful colors across the sky with deep russet oranges from the sunset. I don't think this could be a more beautiful moment with the exception of hearing the beautiful laughter of two wonderful women in this kitchen that molded my life into what it is now, forever more. Reflecting back, how I wish that they were still here now!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
A DAY TO REMEMBER
Today, January 20, 2009 is a day that I will never forget. It all began for me 44 years ago when I was eight years old, I heard a great man give a speech about unity, justice and freedom for all. That man was Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., little did I know at that time my life would be changed for ever. It's funny now that I look back I realize when children are left with only the raw essentials they will not harbor hatred, prejudice and all of the things that has existed in our society to divide us.
Looking back I realize that the very core of our being knows when something is right, just and fair. That compass will lead us in the direction of all truth if we will only adhere to it. If we will choose not to be distracted by the thoughts and plans of others but to only follow the drumbeat of our own hearts we shall not fail.
Today, 44 years later I had the great privilege and honor of witnessing the first African American president of the United States at the Inauguration of
President Barack Obama.I am aware that this day means so many different things to so many different people, however, for all of us, I think that it means as long as the dream is alive in our hearts and with expectation for it to come to fruition we will never be disappointed. For those of us that have never given up, it really was “our” day!
I sincerely look forward to the next chapter of this great book that we all will play a part in, for United we will always stand but divided we will fall.
“Sacredflower” Brenda Williams
Looking back I realize that the very core of our being knows when something is right, just and fair. That compass will lead us in the direction of all truth if we will only adhere to it. If we will choose not to be distracted by the thoughts and plans of others but to only follow the drumbeat of our own hearts we shall not fail.
Today, 44 years later I had the great privilege and honor of witnessing the first African American president of the United States at the Inauguration of
President Barack Obama.I am aware that this day means so many different things to so many different people, however, for all of us, I think that it means as long as the dream is alive in our hearts and with expectation for it to come to fruition we will never be disappointed. For those of us that have never given up, it really was “our” day!
I sincerely look forward to the next chapter of this great book that we all will play a part in, for United we will always stand but divided we will fall.
“Sacredflower” Brenda Williams
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