I'm at the beach sitting on the front porch of my Victorian home with a wraparound porch that grandma left to me. The couple of chai tea is warming up my soul for writing. I have been waiting all year for this moment to finally arrive. It has been such a busy year, with all of the normal dramas of daily life with the kids, friends and work. I finally get to just sit back with my cup of tea and no interruptions to write whenever I want to for two weeks of pure solitude.
Watching the seagulls from here just swoosh down to catch anything that moves which could possibly be a feast is such fun and it brings back memories of days long ago. Listening to the waves land upon the shore, reminds me why my soul longs for the coming home to the ocean. I often wonder why every so often and I can tell when, everything else must just stop. I have to get here; it really is the difference between existing and living. Smelling the salt air awakens atoms that have been dormant and reminds me of the child side that is calling out to be free.
Being outside the box, no real limitations except for the ones I choose to exist, is what this porch represents for me. When I step back to look at this porch I realize that the opening represents me easily moving out into the outer perimeters where there is no ending whenever I choose. That opening says I can step out into the vast flowing ocean into the depth of my soul anytime that I desire.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Home Going Celebration and the Power of Words
Attending funerals have a way of revealing the inner core of your desires and beliefs. Filing into the old country church in a traditional Southern fashion reminds me of why it is important to write down for our children how we would want to be remembered and celebrated. Approaching the casket brings up a rush of adrenaline to my hands, heart and head as to what I expect. It is never what I expect because the life I once knew has flown away and I am reminded that this broken vehicle is nothing without its owner. The emptiness reminds me of all the wonderful alive times I had with the warm being who once occupied the space.
When the service begins with all the wonderful gospel music my spirit is lifted towards those reflective times. While my mind and heart floats through those memories, tears flow from my eyes of how precious those moments were. Then my heart goes out to those ones near and dear to the precious one that once was here. My favorite part of the service is the Gospel music as well as the comments and reflective sharing. When people speak of how the departed one left an impression on their lives, this restores my soul as to the purpose of our lives.
What better reward is there than knowing you have left a mark on one's life in a positive way? Of course the sad thing is that realistically we as individuals very seldom tell others while they are living, what their life choices mean to us and how they have made a difference in our lives.
This is one of the reasons that I love the exercise I forwarded to my friends, colleagues, and family to sum up in one word that expresses how they view me. The receiver is to send the answer back to the sender and then forward the request onto their e-mail list. This gives you a lot of insight into how you are reflecting out to the world around you. This turned out to be a wonderful exercise for me coming back from a funeral because I was feeling very deep in my concerns of wanting to have a positive effect on all those that crossed my path.
Some of the words I received back were: intense, seeker, strong, delighter, live, courageous, sensitive, loving, friendly, giving, talkative, serious, deep, loyal, dedicated, carrying, cool, articulate, spiritual, and industrious. It was such an honor to receive these words to describe myself coming from others. It truly reaffirmed the wishes for my life. If I can continue to be true to myself hopefully when I leave this world there can be a huge celebration of music, food, reading and sharing that will be meaningful.
These thoughts have made me more aware that I want to practice now (not later) with others, in telling them the gratitude I have for their presence in my life. To all my family and friends I challenge them to remember the moment.
When the service begins with all the wonderful gospel music my spirit is lifted towards those reflective times. While my mind and heart floats through those memories, tears flow from my eyes of how precious those moments were. Then my heart goes out to those ones near and dear to the precious one that once was here. My favorite part of the service is the Gospel music as well as the comments and reflective sharing. When people speak of how the departed one left an impression on their lives, this restores my soul as to the purpose of our lives.
What better reward is there than knowing you have left a mark on one's life in a positive way? Of course the sad thing is that realistically we as individuals very seldom tell others while they are living, what their life choices mean to us and how they have made a difference in our lives.
This is one of the reasons that I love the exercise I forwarded to my friends, colleagues, and family to sum up in one word that expresses how they view me. The receiver is to send the answer back to the sender and then forward the request onto their e-mail list. This gives you a lot of insight into how you are reflecting out to the world around you. This turned out to be a wonderful exercise for me coming back from a funeral because I was feeling very deep in my concerns of wanting to have a positive effect on all those that crossed my path.
Some of the words I received back were: intense, seeker, strong, delighter, live, courageous, sensitive, loving, friendly, giving, talkative, serious, deep, loyal, dedicated, carrying, cool, articulate, spiritual, and industrious. It was such an honor to receive these words to describe myself coming from others. It truly reaffirmed the wishes for my life. If I can continue to be true to myself hopefully when I leave this world there can be a huge celebration of music, food, reading and sharing that will be meaningful.
These thoughts have made me more aware that I want to practice now (not later) with others, in telling them the gratitude I have for their presence in my life. To all my family and friends I challenge them to remember the moment.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE WHITE
In a writing workshop designed to find common ground through American voices, I was asked to imagine myself as rejecting my culture and what affect that would probably have on me emotionally professionally and socially-both in a positive and negative way. How ironic this assignment was for me because basically I had done that for over 40 plus years. No one could imagine from other cultures, why I would choose to do that, being white. I didn't realize in my teen years why everyone thought it was such a big deal, probably because I didn't understand the implications by some, was that by exploring other viewpoints it was understood I had rejected or left behind what I was born with, which was my own identity. As I grew older I realize that the more I investigated other truths (the hidden agendas) the more I moved away from accepted truths, (without review). According to some I was no longer white. It still puzzles me as to what the accepted definition of white is. It says on my birth certificate that I am white, but I guess more requirements come with that than just who your birth parents are. A lot of the same cultures that run in my DNA memories along with my blood have historically been mistreated and abused by the ancestors of my heritage. This has troubled me my entire life as I am sure it has many others. To reject certain actions taken by members of the culture my embodiment represents, means to me that I accept responsibility for change. To change historic patterns by making different choices allows the generations that follow my footsteps to do the same if they choose to. I personally accept the teachings of the native Indian side of my people, whereby it is understood that we as a people affect seven generations by the choices we make individually. That gives me the opportunity to affect a change by choice. I may not be able to change the past but I do believe I can play a part in the future.
How these choices have affected me emotionally have been challenging at times because my feelings about change have been strongly charged. I have multicultural children by choice, therefore it is an immediate concern for me and present every day. This helps me to understand someone of another culture when they say, “I go to bed with his face and I wake up with his face every day, whatever problem or challenge that presents for another, I cannot change nor do I choose to.”
The pride that I take in my choices is that by the grace of God I have survived to tell my story to my grandchildren. Hopefully they will have the courage to stand up for their strong convictions in life, whatever they may be, they will have courage and faith that there is a bigger/stronger force at their back, at all times.
How my choices have affected me professionally have differed according to whatever I have chosen to do in service to humanity. When I was in my own business, as a cosmetologist there were challenges on many fronts because there again I did not allow myself to be segregated. I purposely chose to cross- over train in all cultures and to practice these teachings in every aspect of my business. I do feel that our professional choices should also reflect our personal self. It would be very difficult for me to try and separate who I am for eight to 12 hours out of the day. Therefore, I don't attempt to try. There can be personal choices separate from work that you can keep private but a larger part of yourself that you bring to the table normally will always reveal itself at some point. Our society is so diverse that it would be almost impossible to hide yourself from anyone. I am aware that my outer color has probably given me choices far beyond a lot of other cultures in this country but I try to make good use of that to benefit all people where ever I am and in whatever capacity I can affect.
The social effect that my choices have had on me at times has rendered me to be alone but as a writer that has been a positive thing. To be able to observe and ascertain people's reactions to my choices has provided plenty of research material as well as critical thinking opportunities.
Going back over the last 50 years of my life I can say now that the face I always saw in the mirror was connected to my heart but the life I chose to go with it was misinterpreted many times. That was the challenge of the beholder, not mine. I live in peace knowing who I am through my journey, not by someone else's definition.
How these choices have affected me emotionally have been challenging at times because my feelings about change have been strongly charged. I have multicultural children by choice, therefore it is an immediate concern for me and present every day. This helps me to understand someone of another culture when they say, “I go to bed with his face and I wake up with his face every day, whatever problem or challenge that presents for another, I cannot change nor do I choose to.”
The pride that I take in my choices is that by the grace of God I have survived to tell my story to my grandchildren. Hopefully they will have the courage to stand up for their strong convictions in life, whatever they may be, they will have courage and faith that there is a bigger/stronger force at their back, at all times.
How my choices have affected me professionally have differed according to whatever I have chosen to do in service to humanity. When I was in my own business, as a cosmetologist there were challenges on many fronts because there again I did not allow myself to be segregated. I purposely chose to cross- over train in all cultures and to practice these teachings in every aspect of my business. I do feel that our professional choices should also reflect our personal self. It would be very difficult for me to try and separate who I am for eight to 12 hours out of the day. Therefore, I don't attempt to try. There can be personal choices separate from work that you can keep private but a larger part of yourself that you bring to the table normally will always reveal itself at some point. Our society is so diverse that it would be almost impossible to hide yourself from anyone. I am aware that my outer color has probably given me choices far beyond a lot of other cultures in this country but I try to make good use of that to benefit all people where ever I am and in whatever capacity I can affect.
The social effect that my choices have had on me at times has rendered me to be alone but as a writer that has been a positive thing. To be able to observe and ascertain people's reactions to my choices has provided plenty of research material as well as critical thinking opportunities.
Going back over the last 50 years of my life I can say now that the face I always saw in the mirror was connected to my heart but the life I chose to go with it was misinterpreted many times. That was the challenge of the beholder, not mine. I live in peace knowing who I am through my journey, not by someone else's definition.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
SAVE THE EAGLE MOUND
Please check out Ed's Page on "My Links of Interest" because this information is on his Website for your opportunity to explore the Native Teachings of our Homeland, America. This is the most Vital time in History because it is now that we need to examine these teachings. My spiritual-grandfather Chief Frank Fools Crow, spoke of this time were living in as it being time for all nations to recognize our Oneness. I am grateful for Ed Little Fox for sharing along with his Friends on his Links.
SAVE THE EAGLE MOUND
INTRODUCTION
There are many issues of Native American concern deserving of attention and support.
Preserving Sacred Sites, and this one in particular, is important as it represents the beliefs and spirituality of a 10,000 year old culture, which is the link from the distant past to the present, and a key to the future. Sacred Sites are a means of connection of Man to Mother Earth and Father Sky, and to all things that dwell there-in, the physical and spiritual realities, the forces of nature, the expanses of the universe, and the Creator of all.
In just 200 years after contact with the Spanish explorers, approximately 95% of the Native American population had been wiped out by European weapons and disease. In the ensuing 300 years the descendants of the survivors have had their lands stolen, were forcibly and tragically relocated, had their rights of culture and religion denied, children taken from families, and suffered many other atrocities to try to annihilate their culture and force them to assimilate into the dominant society.
Despite the worst of conditions, some survived to carry on their heritage and re-claim their culture. Under threats of death, and many paying that price, their spiritual beliefs and knowledge of Old Ways were secretly passed down thru the Wisdom Keepers.
The discovery of this ceremonial site, and information regarding it's past, are due to the knowledge passed on from generation to generation, and the guidance of Creator that brought things into place.
Now the time has come to bring forth this legacy of the ancestors to public awareness, so that it may be preserved from desecration and destruction, and restored as a place of spirituality, higher learning, peace, and unity for all Native American Peoples. As such it will stand as a symbol for all Peoples of the world, and of the coming time when the Eagle of the North will again fly with the Condor of the South.
The future of Eagle Mound is in our hands
Message from the Hopi People -- People of Peace
We have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour and there are things to be considered.
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in a good relation?
Where is your water?
Have you prepared you family?
Can you live from the Earth?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your truth
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold onto the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, and push off into the river, keep our eyes open, and our head above the water.
See who is in there with you and Celebrate.
At this time in history, take nothing personally.
Least of all ourselves.
For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.
The time of the lone wolf is over,
Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that you do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
"We are the ones we've been waiting for..."
(The Elders, Hopi Nation, Oraibi, Arizona)
Contributed from Ed's Pages/ Growing Up Native (Click on Link)
SAVE THE EAGLE MOUND
INTRODUCTION
There are many issues of Native American concern deserving of attention and support.
Preserving Sacred Sites, and this one in particular, is important as it represents the beliefs and spirituality of a 10,000 year old culture, which is the link from the distant past to the present, and a key to the future. Sacred Sites are a means of connection of Man to Mother Earth and Father Sky, and to all things that dwell there-in, the physical and spiritual realities, the forces of nature, the expanses of the universe, and the Creator of all.
In just 200 years after contact with the Spanish explorers, approximately 95% of the Native American population had been wiped out by European weapons and disease. In the ensuing 300 years the descendants of the survivors have had their lands stolen, were forcibly and tragically relocated, had their rights of culture and religion denied, children taken from families, and suffered many other atrocities to try to annihilate their culture and force them to assimilate into the dominant society.
Despite the worst of conditions, some survived to carry on their heritage and re-claim their culture. Under threats of death, and many paying that price, their spiritual beliefs and knowledge of Old Ways were secretly passed down thru the Wisdom Keepers.
The discovery of this ceremonial site, and information regarding it's past, are due to the knowledge passed on from generation to generation, and the guidance of Creator that brought things into place.
Now the time has come to bring forth this legacy of the ancestors to public awareness, so that it may be preserved from desecration and destruction, and restored as a place of spirituality, higher learning, peace, and unity for all Native American Peoples. As such it will stand as a symbol for all Peoples of the world, and of the coming time when the Eagle of the North will again fly with the Condor of the South.
The future of Eagle Mound is in our hands
Message from the Hopi People -- People of Peace
We have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour and there are things to be considered.
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in a good relation?
Where is your water?
Have you prepared you family?
Can you live from the Earth?
Know your garden.
It is time to speak your truth
Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.
This could be a good time!
There is a river flowing now very fast
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold onto the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart and they will suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, and push off into the river, keep our eyes open, and our head above the water.
See who is in there with you and Celebrate.
At this time in history, take nothing personally.
Least of all ourselves.
For the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.
The time of the lone wolf is over,
Gather yourselves!
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary. All that you do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.
"We are the ones we've been waiting for..."
(The Elders, Hopi Nation, Oraibi, Arizona)
Contributed from Ed's Pages/ Growing Up Native (Click on Link)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
JUST ANOTHER COLORED WOMAN
This story was derived from a black woman's experience whereby she was being evicted for; (quote)” attempting to make a cultural statement on the properties where she was living.” Being that she had been given permission by the previous owners to teach on the land this made the eviction seem suspicious. The new property owner was overheard saying to another person not of color, that she was just another colored Woman! This piece is dedicated and written on behalf of this woman in hope that individuals will be mindful of the words that they choose to use and the power that they contain, to build up or to tear down. May we always remember the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks!
She's Just Another Colored Woman!
She's had 30 something operations in her life and she's only 50 plus years old, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has traveled all over the United States discovering her roots and teaching others to care about theirs, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has pitched tents, dug fire pits, moved the grandfathers (stones) all over the country to redistribute energies (history/herstory), but she's just another colored Woman!
She has helped women everywhere she has traveled, to become visionaries, better mothers, better sisters, better lovers, better community builders, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has traveled not only to discover her own roots, to build bridges to others, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has rediscovered and felt the pain of injustice to her people in her search but she's just another colored Woman!
She has survived the injustices inflicted upon her because of her birth but she's just another colored Woman!
She has remained quiet in the quake of all out discrimination but she's just another colored Woman!
She has worked on forgiveness at the core of her being when some have never tried, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has worked on her own healing through her craft but she's just another colored Woman!
She will rise again like the Phoenix from the ashes because she is a colored Woman!
She is a web weaver, a medicine woman, a midwife, a wisdom keeper, a storyteller, and she is a colored Woman!
She is a colored woman, she is a powerhouse of the Spirit, she is an instrument of the Most High, so don't be mistaken the next time you think you see just another colored Woman!
Written and Submitted by: Brenda Williams/ Sacredflower
She's Just Another Colored Woman!
She's had 30 something operations in her life and she's only 50 plus years old, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has traveled all over the United States discovering her roots and teaching others to care about theirs, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has pitched tents, dug fire pits, moved the grandfathers (stones) all over the country to redistribute energies (history/herstory), but she's just another colored Woman!
She has helped women everywhere she has traveled, to become visionaries, better mothers, better sisters, better lovers, better community builders, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has traveled not only to discover her own roots, to build bridges to others, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has rediscovered and felt the pain of injustice to her people in her search but she's just another colored Woman!
She has survived the injustices inflicted upon her because of her birth but she's just another colored Woman!
She has remained quiet in the quake of all out discrimination but she's just another colored Woman!
She has worked on forgiveness at the core of her being when some have never tried, but she's just another colored Woman!
She has worked on her own healing through her craft but she's just another colored Woman!
She will rise again like the Phoenix from the ashes because she is a colored Woman!
She is a web weaver, a medicine woman, a midwife, a wisdom keeper, a storyteller, and she is a colored Woman!
She is a colored woman, she is a powerhouse of the Spirit, she is an instrument of the Most High, so don't be mistaken the next time you think you see just another colored Woman!
Written and Submitted by: Brenda Williams/ Sacredflower
The Great Impersonator
I had a lady one time tell me in a reading... you are a great impersonator! I didn't really know if that was an insult or a complement. First, I had to think about if I knew what the word really meant. Yeah, I guess I could agree with that but I would describe it as a survivor. I guess she was saying that I could fool a lot of people to my benefit. This is something I think actors/actresses go to school for. Maybe I missed my true calling? One of the benefits of being an only child is that you do a lot of observing people's behavior, even when they don't realize it. Body language has a message of its own. I have realized that my white face has helped me a lot because my children have always reminded me of white privilege. With a white face, at least you get in the door and sometimes heard. Of course, women have a tendency to try and block one another; after all, you do have to get past the receptionist. After a lifetime of thinking that my studying, applying myself, positive thinking, assertiveness, and divine intervention was what got me in, I was reminded by my children constantly, that my white face had a lot to do with it. Once you got in, you were able to display your attributes in order to sale all what you had to offer, by way of your talents. With a little bit of divine intervention you could be well on your way toward the experience you had asked for. When the opportunity presents itself, sometimes we regret the choice but we learn a lot out of it. My heart bleeds when I see my children and friends of color not have that same chance. I feel that, those of us that have white faces, have the responsibility of stepping in any way that we can to help another person have the chance to be heard and seen in this society. If this is the way I use white privilege, hopefully it will work towards healing racism. Every person has the right to work and make a living for their family. Even if someone walks a disruptive path but wishes to try it another way, they deserve a second chance. I feel that we as a people cannot turn others away because they have bucked the system only to find that maybe it didn't quite work out as they thought it would. Compassion will create a whole new society for the giver as well as the receiver. If we do not give people a chance that are looking for it, someone else will be waiting to tear down their self-worth for their own selfish gain.(Drug dealers, pimps, employers that are looking to exploit, etc…). We are hurting not only the individual but we are hurting our society because once someone lowers (abases) themselves; it's even harder to change them. God uses all of us as he/she sees fit. So, be ready at all times to be used for the good. Use that white face if necessary to make someone else's day! Be an impersonator if that is what it takes. There are those that only see what they want to see and that may be just your white face!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
MY QUEEN
It was 4:00 a.m. on September 21, 2007 in New York city when I was running through the airport trying to make my flight on time and when I was just about to make it to my terminal,Bam! I fell to the floor not knowing what hit me. My bags were everywhere, clothes all over the place, when I look up, there she was speechless looking at me with the most beautiful face, like a queen! She was quickly picking up my boxer shorts, jockstrap, ( oh no! Not that I was thinking!) and her underwear, bras, along with everything else that had fell out of her bags. This was a pretty common scene for people that didn't leave home early enough to make their flights on time. We both were apologizing to one another and just trying to get re-acclimated to where we needed to be. I was trying to pull myself together straightening my vest, adjusting my pants to where I could look as though I still had it all together. We thanked each other and hurried off. I got to the ticket agent in time to get on board but I had lost sight of where this beautiful queen had disappeared to. I rushed to find my seat and when I got there, I was shocked to see that there she was, my mysterious queen. I sat down and smiled. Hi again, smiling I said. My name is Woody and yours? I am Queen Christina from Yanesta, Egypt. My eyes just about fell out, oh my God, she is a queen! We began to talk about each other's lives and she discovered that I was a Christian and that she was a Muslim. Then the conversation began to go in all kinds of directions because neither one of us felt like we needed to defend our religions, as a matter of fact we were amazed to find the commonalities between our faiths. We began to talk about each others everyday lifestyles. Then I discovered that late at night she gets herself a big bowl of buttery popcorn, calls up her girlfriends and listens to each other's stories on conference call because they have a writing group. I told her that since I travel for a living there isn't much that I do that's traditional. I said that I have crazy cravings late at night like, pancakes. She laughed with the most beautiful chuckle. She doesn't eat pork which I can understand from her faith in. She shows me pictures of her country and I am looking at llamas, while I share pictures of my travels where she had never seen a moose. We both just laughed as if we had known each other forever. Getting to know this queen was certainly a treat that I would never forget. We continued to talk and laugh until we both fell off to sleep. I'm sure that while I slept, I dreamed of my Queen.
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