CROSSROADS

I've chosen again to feature one of the pieces my friend "Sam" wrote this month titled "Crossroads". During all the business of summer and my writing assignments it is a blessing for some of you to share your recipes of life from your kitchens. I truly appreciate your servings and that is our purpose here @ "The Writers Cafe"...sharing the love of recipes. Please enjoy the servings and offer up your encouragement to others.


We've all been here
or one day will be
A crossroads in time
is looking at me
Where did it all go
the time that's behind
How did i get here
what will i find
From the past and the present I hear them say
you can do anything only you stand in your way
Leaving from here the path that I'm on
the past is my bedrock it's all that I've known
I can see the future
and I know where I've been
I stand here today with only a grin
A cross roads in time yeah that's where I'm at
going to step off that ole beaten path

Samantha McBryde

Riding With Jesus

This is a story submitted by a good friend of mine whom I have always admired for her courage in speaking her mind. Thank-you Sam for being YOU:-)


It was a beautiful winter morning; you could see spring around the corner. I had started feeling a little sick. I thought to myself, this can’t be your too young. Even though I had taken the precautions I had failed, I was pregnant. Scared and not knowing what to do, I called my mother. Together we decide the best thing is, go to California to be with her till the baby is born. She sent me a Greyhound ticket and off I went.
Dazed and not knowing where life would take me from here I showed my ticket and boarded the bus. Looking out the window, watching the scenery go by like clips from a movie, it was like I was hypnotized. We came to the first stop in Charlotte, North Carolina. One of the last people getting on the bus was this man, and my first thought was he looks like Jesus. He looked and was dressed in what my mind’s eye had always pictured Jesus to look like. He had cloth wrapped around his feet for socks under his sandals and homemade clothes of the same material. Sitting in the seat next to me he looked over at me and said, “Hello my child, how are you today?” I could tell right away he was a very spiritual person.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“California.” I answered.
“This will be a good trip that’s where I’m headed too. Most of the time I ride my bicycle but I have been blessed with enough extra money to get a ticket this time, so I will do my work this way,” he tells me.
He started talking about how he travels the county visiting his brothers and sisters. I didn’t understand then that he meant people that believed in the lord as he did. Never once did he push his beliefs on me or even talk about them really, he just had this air about him and you just knew he loved the Lord. The fact that I had started calling him Jesus to myself might have helped too.
Somewhere around Nashville these two little old women got on the bus. They set right up front with Jesus and me. From the minute they got on the bus they were fun, the ladies Jesus and I talked about any and everything. Somehow we got on the subject of home cooked food. We talked about all the things from out childhoods, there’s being much longer ago than mine, to things we still love to eat today. The conversation had taken us all the way to Oklahoma, by now we were all getting hungry talking about all that food. One of the ladies said, “Boy it will be a long time before we can get good food like that.” Jesus told her, “We never know what the lord has in store for us.” It was about an hour later we pulled into the parking lot of a weather beaten cinderblock building. Busses will stop almost anywhere to pick people up. We were told that we would be at this stop for about forty-five minutes so we could all get off and stretch our legs.
The ladies left the bus first with me right on their heels; Jesus was coming out behind us. As soon as we stepped on the ground all three of our noses went straight into the air. The smells of all the home cooked food we had talked about wrapped around us like a warm blanket. Jesus was stepping off the last step as the wonderful aromas found him. His arms went into the air as his head tilted to the sky, “Thank you!” he said. Then he looked at the ladies and myself and said, “See my children ask and you shall receive.” We all walked into the building and before us were all of the foods we had talked about for the past few hundred miles. I couldn’t believe it! I looked at Jesus with a look of wonder and he just nodded and told me to enjoy the harvest of plenty God had put here for us.
I did a lot of thinking the rest of that bus trip and had many more conversations with my wonderful companions. The man I called Jesus living up to my thoughts of him as the miles rolled by.
We arrived in Baskerville, California to have our last breakfast together before we all went our separate ways. Like the many stops before we walked into the bus stop to the smell of wonderful food. We had our last meal together and said our goodbyes. The ladies went there way to catch the next bus and Jesus and I went back to ours. He was getting his bicycle from the luggage compartment as I was waiting to board. We said our goodbyes at last and as I was boarding the bus he tells me, “take care of that son you have with you.” My thoughts went crazy, as I claimed my seat for the last leg of my bus ride. I had never spoken of being pregnant and I wasn’t showing so how did this man know?
Still to this day as I travel the roads in this country I look for the man I called Jesus knowing I will see him somewhere one day showing his kindness that he had shown to me so many years ago.

For the Love of My Cat..."Spirit"

When my daughter told me her story of her cat "Spirit" crossing over I encouraged her to share this story with the world because I just knew that it would touch so many "Souls". I always ask others to share their "recipes of life" with others so that it can carry us all over the threshold of sharing so as to connect our souls to one another. We all are only one story away from one another...please share your threads of life to this wonderful Web of Light:

Kisha's Story:

ok so here goes the story...I got up as usual....Jasmine and I en route to school and work....when I noticed a cat in the turning lane ...dead...omg ..got closer...it's my cat, Spirit...Jasmine sees Spirit lying lifeless...she immediately goes into denial..."that's not him" she keeps saying...we get to her school...she said...mom you are going back to ck right? txt me and tell me..ok?...this is my daughter ...I didn't want to break her heart, but said ok baby...I went back to the spot where my beloved cat of over 12yrs laid lifeless...I went back to the truck got my black ski jacket and a shirt I had n the truck...wrapped him(Spirit, the cat) inside...cried and saying prayers as I put him in the truck...upset and stressed...drove to my job...walked up to the office and told my boss and coworkers what happened....I was a mess..trust me...Melissa said.. go take care of your family...I never buried a animal before and not one I loved dearly...so I went to the only person I knew who could help me in this situation...my cuz Colleen...crying ...I told her everything...I moved my cat to the back seat..she got her shovel and we went to my house...she dug a hole ..while I prayed over my cat some more..then I went out and cleared out the hole from roots,debris...just making sure Spirit would be comfortable you know...then we buried him...I took her home...called my job and gave an update...went and got Jasmine out of school to break the news to her..she knew and fell silent...we went to Lowe's and got some planters to mark the spot...went home ..talked ..cried..then a couple hrs went by ..I'm on the ph with my friend Shannon when I hear my cat say MEOW...I told my friend maybe it wasn't a good idea to bury my cat so close by..then I heard it again..oh yeah..I have two cats by the way...so then I realized it was my other cat Scooter..so I went to let him in...opened the door and there was my cat, Spirit!!!!! I buried the wrong cat!!!!

A Few Jewels…for Relationships

I went to a dear friend with a list of questions that get posed quite often in my “Women’s Groups” considering relationship issues and personal development. In this discussion with her I discovered her own challenges with life and development. This caused me to respect her even more as a woman of wisdom when I would look back over her composure as she traveled her own road of personal discovery. Again I was empowered from a sistah sharing her story by focusing on the power of experience and moving on.

These questions get posed quite often when people’s lives change from different lifestyles for the better with partners, but don't know where to go from there.

A few jewels to share with those that wonder about building healthy relationships; from this Sistah Friend:


Although I do not feel qualified to address the questions, I’ll give it a go! As with any relationship, it takes two wanting it for the relationship to develop, grow and last. One cannot make it happen, no matter how badly they want a particular relationship. I spent 18 years in a relationship because my partner had the “potential” to make me happy. I love her with every fiber of my being and thought she could love me in the same way if only I was patient enough, strong enough, loving enough, understanding enough, accepting enough. I invested and invested but was never able to withdraw anything from that investment. In fact, I felt as though I did not even earn any interest on my investment. Finally I decided I would never be “enough” to get what I was seeking from this person. I had to accept she was probably giving as much as she could and it was not enough for me. In therapy I learned what could have been, was. If it could have been any different, it would have been. I also learned unrealized “potential” “ain’t worth horse shit” (quote from my therapist).

When my current partner and I were in crisis, I learned another valuable lesson, this time from a sermon. The Pastor knew nothing of the difficulties so the message was not intended for us. It was a God-thing for me. My partner was out of town with her mother for several weeks (another fall and subsequent injury). She decided that she needed to stay there permanently as things were not good with us. I felt betrayed (we had promised each other we would work things out some way, some how) and hurt beyond words. I was pretty raw but went to church anyway. The sermon that day was about relationships. The words that resulted in my epiphany were: “If someone you love can walk away from you and out of your life, let them.” It took every ounce of strength I had in me that day to stay seated and not run out bawling.

I emailed my partner and told her I would put one of the houses on the market but buy her out of the other one as I wanted to keep it. I told her to decide what she wanted from either house and to make arrangements to have it shipped or come pick it up. There would be no more requests for couples counseling or guilt trips about broken promises coming from me, I said. I wished her well but stated I could not maintain a “friendship” with her as she requested.

She came home “to discuss the division of property”. We spent hours talking, crying and being honest about issues. Although we did not officially agree to work things out, we did. Since that time, there has been no mention of “divorce” and we have worked to make sure that there is no need for that discussion.

I guess my point is, any relationship is difficult sometimes, even loving ones. Thus, one needs to decide if they want to invest the time and energy necessary to maintain a relationship before they jump into one. And they need to be prepared to let go if their partner no longer wants it.

Anyway, based on my own experiences, I am offering the following:

1. Developing healthy relationship suggestions:

a)Listen without preconceived notions.
b)Think before speaking.
c)Don’t commit to a relationship based on one feature, idea or value.
d)Find commonality and focus on that.
e)Make sure you like the person.
f)Realize differences are good, not bad.

2.Suggestions for things to do that would be conducive to maintain healthy, committed relationships:

a)Laugh together often.
b)Don’t take yourself or your partner too seriously.
c)Develop relationships, hobbies and interests independent of your partner.
d)Respect even if you don’t agree.
e)Accept arguments are inevitable and don’t take criticism too personal.
f)Commit to fairness.

3.How to develop healthy friendships with other couples:

a)Seek friendships that compliment your own relationship.
b)Resist comparing other couples to you and your partner.
c)Show genuine interest in developing a relationship.
d)Allow relationships to develop over time.
e)Pick folks who share some of your interests, values, morals.
f)Invest of yourself.

4.Venue for meeting new friends:

a)Participate in a variety of events, i.e., festivals, productions, parties.
b)Blogs, Facebook, Linked In
c)Professional groups/meetings
d)Churches/Spiritual Meetings
e)Social groups/meetings
f)Through other friends

5.What to do when there are different interests between mates:

a)Accept some difference as healthy.
b)Allow space and time for each to pursue their own interests.
c)Decide if your differences are more important than your shared interests.
d)Always, always communicate without judgment.
e)If your different interests bother you, look within to seek why.
f)Different interests do not mean rejection.

6.How to introduce partner to new ideas when they have no interests in anything; burnout:

a)Find out why they have no interest, i.e., depression, stagnation, needing
time to regroup.
b)Make a deal. If they will try thus and so and you will return the favor.
c)Bring what you can to your partner if you cannot persuade them to seek
anything new.
d)Continue to seek your own interests and allow time for healing.
e)Invite friends to spark a lively conversation or introduce something new.
f)Pray

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to share.

In Sisterhood, love and blessings





I truly appreciate my relationships with my sistahs, worldwide and the opportunity to hear their stories via the “Pen” is a bounty beyond measure. I am always seeking ways to better connect us on our heart levels because I feel that it is through our relationships and choices that we heal not only ourselves but the World, “One Heart at A Time”. May we continue to share our stories knowing that therein lays the power that we all seek, to heal the wounds of humanity. May this shared story open new ways of building and preserving relationships that are developing you more towards your own authenticity.

Love Is…Letting Go!

Walking up the steps I could hear the tiny yelps of excitement coming from the other side of the door. Oh God, I’m thinking to myself, am I really ready for this all over again? Sound familiar…have you ever made a choice and then wondered if you really thought it through? What to do now is the question?

Three months ago I had the opportunity to make the decision if I really wanted a pet and everything that went with it. All my friends had a pet of some kind and I always had in the back of my mind how great it must be to have that kind of love, unconditionally.

Looking back now over the chain of events that have taken place, I’m having to consider again if I’m really up for the commitment. Having to be fully available for someone that totally depends on you, is a serious decision to make. I don’t know if you can really tell whether or not you’re ready until you try. ( It’s quite complicated and intense) I’m going to have to talk to my friend Cathy again, seriously about all the small details that you sometimes miss. Most importantly, I’m going to have to face some serious issues within myself.

Opening the front door, love is in the air, literally, everywhere!
"Come on girls, let mommy in the door and let me put the bags down, then I will pick you up”, I said as I laugh at my two new puppies.

“Whew, what is that smell? I see that you didn’t quite make it to the paper.” Looking around I see three different places where mistakes have been made. “Ok, ok, I say while they are jumping all over me. I see that I’m going to have to make a decision that I didn’t want to have to make.”

“Whether or not to have to crate you, has been something I’ve been considering girls“, I say with a sad face.

It seems that may have to be the conclusion to this process or pay to change all the carpet. I think the crate will be cheaper. Now the question is, can I stand the lock- up process. I don’t know about that! Who knew there would be so many tough decisions pulling on your heart strings in order to have pet ownership. This is the part my friends didn’t share and I didn’t ask. Never take anything for granted I now say! Locking anything up just because of the hard part of creating control, is a hard issue for me. However, it’s that or disaster in the area of preserving property. Well, it looks like there is more in this process towards peeling back my own onion than I realized. Can I put these babies through this sadness because order is important to me at this time in my life. I don’t think order is on the mind of these little ones at this time of their lives, as it shouldn’t be! This is not the time of their lives that they should be still and behave. They should be having fun…like all little children. Why as humans do we want to take all the fun out of youthfulness and then we wake up one day to say … where did it all go? The girls are looking up at me with their little sad faces as if they understand my grief and it feels like they are taking it on because now they look sad with their little ears down and their heads drooped down. Oh God, this is breaking my heart!

The knock on the door is right on time when I open it to see my friend Cathy!
“Girl, I am glad to see you!” I shout with joy and sadness. Hugging her, tears well up in my eyes and she looks at me with a puzzled look.

“Hey girl, what is it,” she asked with a concerned tone.

With tears in my eyes, I look at her and say, “I don’t think I can do it!”

Cathy has been here for me for the past 12 weeks of pet ownership. I should say while I have been test driving because I haven’t fully taken ownership yet and it’s not fair to the puppies I realize. It almost feels like a new relationship after you have been alone for a while and you are not quite sure what you’re willing to give up, sacrifice or share. I feel like such a failure because I don’t see myself in any of my views of my friends as pet parents. Trying to explain my feelings to Cathy only makes me feel worse about myself as I try to regain my composure.

“Oh, come on girl, she says as she pulls me close to give me a big hug. You are a great mother. This is a big job and it may not be for you at this time. It’s ok,” she reassures me.

“But it’s not ok, Cathy,” I scream. I’ve gotten these babies and now I wonder what was on my mind? I just can’t stand the idea of them staying in a crate to keep from messing up material things! They’re just like children,” I say with a feeling of desperation.

“Yes they are and just like we have to think long and hard before having children, it’s the same for pets.”

“Yeah, the difference is that if you screw up and get pregnant after the fact you suck it up to carelessness and the children just live with your choices,” I say.

I know I’ve got all kinds of strong opinions about that behavior! “Cathy I don’t know what to do but I do know that I am willing to sacrifice whatever insecurities I have for their well being because they deserve lots of love, unconditionally,” I say sadly. That is what they give us, all the time, regardless. I don’t think I have that at this stage of my life.

“That’s ok Stephanie and you don’t have to feel sorry for that. Now, what options do you have,” she asked?

“Well, the lady that sold them to me said that she already had someone for one of them and my baby girl is the one she wanted from the beginning, so, I can still be in her life. The other lady will take my phone number and I can still be in both of their lives by pet sitting.”
“Well then, that’s a great option! Cathy says.

Yeah but how do I make the failure feeling go away? “By realizing that it is not a failure!”, she says. “Think about it, when the lady needed someone to take the puppies out of a dire situation, you were there. You took not one but two and then you took them to your vet and got them good and healthy by getting all their shots, deworming and supplies for their wellness. I remember you went to the whole food store to get only the best organic foods and flea repellent stuff (all natural from India).. You basically saved their lives. (Yeah, it kind of reminds me of some of my past relationships…get them all better for someone else…hmmm) You even gave them your home to recoup their energies by loving them and spending 12 weeks of uninterrupted time to help them get off to a great start in their lives. So, maybe you played your part in their lives because a lot of people would not do that and then pass their love ones on to someone else just to love. You helped provide a strong foundation for them to build on. My goodness, you even put then on your nutritional supplement drink after their shots to make sure their little bodies could handle it without complications. Now that’s mama love! They are going to be Super Dogs because of your love and care in their little lives. Now, let someone else build on what you have laid as their cornerstone source! You are giving someone a wonderful gift in these puppies and you can still see them grow…sounds like a grandma to me! What more could you ask for? Just keep being you and don’t apologize! Remember what you told me last year when I was at the crossroads in my relationship? Sometimes, we are only there for a season and we have to realize that, “Love Is…Letting Go!”

“You know what Cathy? I knew there had to be something bigger in this for me to learn because it was bringing up so much stuff emotionally for me. You have been a true friend for helping me to see that in parenting there can be all kinds of gifts that we refuse to see because of we're always trying to measure up to someone else’s standards. You know, I realize now that God gives us just what we need when we are ready to see it.”

“What do you mean Stephanie?”

“Well, I got these puppies right around the holiday season and that is when I always feel the worst about my parenting skills emotionally as a parent. I’m always telling myself that I was never enough for my children or that I wasn’t like someone else but I now realize through this experience that we are just what the other person needs to become who they came to be by the Master Plan! I have always known that everything has a season just like parenting and that in every season something different is required for progress in the process of development. My parenting has always been about empowering others to be self sufficient and to recognize your purpose. I am at the stage of my life now whereby I will be coming in and out of others lives to serve that purpose on a larger scale. That is why I am moving toward starting a woman’s group this year called Women of Wisdom, to “.empower others.” I am reminded again that “Love Is…Letting Go”!

“There is so much more to this story Cathy, than just puppy love…Think about it!’

Endings and Beginnings

Well friends we are at the end of another year...only four more days to go and we will start all over again, hopefully with new dreams, new inspirations and new hope for ourselves, our families our country and our World! The World as we have known it in the last 10 years has been spiraling into the abyss of despair for our Human family everywhere.Will we begin a New World attitude this coming year five days away? We can only ask ourselves that question and answer it for ourselves in the choices we make to better ourselves that in return we will have something different to offer to the World for the better. I have spent the year of 2009 finding my voice through blogging even if no one really heard me...I heard myself...that was the goal! In hearing myself I realized that I now want to do more. I want to be present with me and share myself with others in ways that I can make a difference just by sharing my stories more. I have decided that I will create a circle...Women of Wisdom will be my goal and it will be about sharing our stories, sharing our strength, sharing our resources, sharing our wisdom, sharing ways of becoming, sharing love and losses. I've read great books, seen great movies, sang great songs, danced great dances, and shared great lives. It is time to let others know that life is all about cycles...they come and they go but most important, with love we Survive...No Matter What.

I watched "Invictus", the movie and what I took away from it was the "poem". The words that inspire are always what stays with us forever. I could relate to Mandela finding strength in the words to this poem because I have been able to survive life and death through the words and stories of others by realizing that if another human could survive, so could I. I want to share these words so you can feel them too:

The poem was a source of inspiration to Nelson Mandela during his captivity and he wrote out a copy by hand for the captain of the rugby team to inspire him to lead them to the world championship. The title is Latin for "unconquered." The poet, William Ernest Henley, wrote it from his hospital bed. His indomitable spirit led him to triumph over the amputation of his leg.
INVICTUS
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.


I also have been inspired by Isabel Allende, I would like to share some of her "Reflections Today", from "Women of Wisdom". by Kris Steinnes:

I have come to the conclusion that the most precious gifts women can give to each other are their personal stories. By sharing our experiences, our pains and joys, our fears, hopes and desires, we create a sacred space where we can find new strength. Allow me to tell you about the only subject that I know really well: my own life. In doing so, I hope to encourage you to do the same and share your stories.

I tried to look as honesty as possible inside myself, to go deeply into my memory and my heart, to search in the dark place where all the fears come from and in the luminous place where the creative force is generated, looking for the motivations that have driven me forward and the uncertainties that have pulled me back. What are the fundamental issues that define my personality and determine my life? Two themes come to my mind: love and losses.

Another one of her reflections that inspires my experiences and encourages me to share is:

"Now that I am over fifty, I can tell you that there is nothing more liberating than age. As we get older we can be ourselves, wear sensible shoes and speak our minds; we don't have to please everybody anymore, only those we really care for. At fifty we have more cellulite, but we are also wiser. If we had a choice, maybe most of us would rather have thin thighs than wisdom; but we don't have a choice, so we better make the most of wisdom."

After viewing "Julie and Julia"(the movie), I realized many things about following your passion so that your dreams will not die within you. I also realized that when you go to your "jobs", if you can not "dance", then you are internally dead for 8,10 or 12 hours while you are just existing to punch the clock. I will find a moment every day to dance my dance towards my destiny, of living every moment. I'm beginning my New Year right now and passing it on to all those around me!

The Christmas Spirit

Today I want to share a tradition that I do every morning to start my day with Spirit. My morning reading puts me in the spirit of why I was given another day and it reminds me to take time to remember to keep the balance. I want to share a poem on this "Special" day and the thoughts of Sarah Ban Breathnach in "Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy":


If, as Herod,we fill our lives with things, and again with things;if we consider ourselves so unimportant that we must fill every moment of our lives with action, when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey across the desert as did the Magi? Or sit and watch the stars as did the shepherds? Or brood over the coming of the child as did Mary? For each one of us, there is a desert to travel. A star to discover. And a being within ourselves to bring to life.
-Author Unknown


"Oh, would that Christmas lasted the whole year through,as it ought,"Charles Dickens lamented.Would that the spirit of Christmas could live within our hearts every day of the year."


But what is the Chritmas spirit?Perhaps the Christmas spirit, like the nature of the Beloved, is meant to be a Holy Mystery. Perhaps the Christmas spirit is our soul's knowledge that things, no matter how beautiful, are only things;that we were created,not always to do,but sometimes to simply be. Perhaps the Christmas spirit is a loving reminder that we must make time for the long, slow journey across the desert; we must take time to discover our star; we must honor the time necessary to brood over the coming of the authentic women we were created by Love to become. It has been said many times that our lives are gifts from God-that what we do with them is our gift in return. Today is the perfect day to remember this.
Sarah Ban Breathnach

Yes, may we remember the spirit of Christmas every day the whole year through but for today enjoy the moment as every moment of Joy! Merry Christmas and God Bless everyone all over the World! May the children capture the spirit of Christmas from each of us.