Over here at the writer's café we are stirring up things in the kitchen. My sisters need to awaken from their slumber. Every time I hear of another fallen sister it nudges me to say out loud… wake up! The lover we search for through others is within ourselves. There is no way to draw a picture of what I mean but it is a retreat to self that you have to make, in order to spare yourself a lot of unnecessary drama. If you have someone and still don't understand why you feel like you're missing something, it's because you are. That longing you have has nothing to do with the other person as much as it has to do with you. It's great not to have to walk alone on your journey but if that person does not respect your spiritual boundaries and vice versa, you might as well be alone because there are going to be a lot of lonely days ahead. When you get to the crossroads together you still have to spend time alone in the wilderness with the one who loves you beyond boundaries. Your Beloved demands time alone with you. If you cannot hear the gentle call, it can get very loud. The gentle nudge can be very comforting but when you get so distracted that a tremendous stop has to take place in your life, you wonder what happened. Sometimes we even get called home because we are so stubborn. That is what I am seeing with child abuse and spouse/partner abuse. When we allow ourselves to stay in abusive relationships we really need some, “timeout”, to evaluate ourselves. To be truly honest means to go out in the wilderness even if it means putting our families in safe hands while we get with ourselves. Most of the time in abuse cases the victim loses connection with their core being, their center, which is our connection with all that there is. Every being that has experienced abuse knows that center place, because in the early stages of abuse you can hear the subtle warnings within. The signs pop up everywhere. You know what I mean. Yes, I'm talking to you! One on one! We know who we are. Why do I need this person so-o-o-o bad? I deserve better treatment than what I am getting! I don't deserve this s-h-i-t-! Why don't I just walk away? I can do better by myself! What am I afraid of? Do not put so much energy into what you do not understand. Remember back in school, what we were told at test time? Don't spend a lot of time on what you don't understand, go on and do what you do know! Same advice goes for the tests in life. Fake it, until you make it. Self-confidence, faith and strong will, it will bring you through every time! This power I'm talking about is not left behind in the counselors offices, in the churches, these institutions are only tools to direct you back to your center, your source within your self. When you don't have the money's to get the finest doctors, ministers, books, foods, etc… remember, what you need, will be provided. That is a promise in your faith that you can bank on. The first step to avoiding abuse is to not go there. Read the handwriting on the wall. Do not ignore the signs and try to be a s/hero in order to avoid loneliness. Teach your daughters, that they hold the jewels and someone is always going to try to get them. If you have already crossed that safe zone, is never too late to turn back. Let there be no shame in your game to step back and take a second look at yourself, reevaluate yourself about what you deserve. Know thyself, is one of your greatest discoveries. Broken dreams can be rebuilt, restored, and redefined. You came to the world to bring something to the table. Be strong and serve it up! Explore the ingredients in your recipe, add to or take away but make it original. Your authentic self knows all of the spices you came to the table with. Do not be afraid to stir things up in your kitchen and when you're ready, do what you need to do! Ladies be an example and passed on those valuable recipes! Live your life and kick it up a notch! Do not wait until someone is trying to kill you for what you have. Get out while you can because an abuser is so far down into self gratification and not knowing their self-worth that the only thing they can do is try to steal someone else's jewels. They want to control, what they cannot within their own lives, their direction. We always have a choice to change the ingredients to the recipe (directions) but we have to have the balls!! I challenge you to check out the recipe to your life and add to it whatever you need to make it authentically say; I’ve got the balls!! Serve it up!!