Tuesday, December 2, 2008


I was studying an article on thinning hair, well of course because it is an issue close to home :) however as I read through the article I realized why I left the Beauty Industry. As much as I enjoyed making women feel beautiful outwardly, I was very interested in her inner self, which by the way is the true beauty of a woman. I was at the time on my own personal quest for the answers to life and where the true joy was in life when I discovered that being true to myself didn’t require me to lie to others by doing to them what I knew to be harmful. I can’t put it into words but I just stopped without really having a plan of what to do next. People weren’t really ready to give up the lies in exchange for what was the option. I think I was in that group too. Could I continue doing what I was doing without informing my clients of what was in their best interest? Could I jeopardize my revenue in their best interest? It was a difficult decision that changed my life and my families forever but it put me personally on a quest towards a better me and tremendous challenges to be true to myself at great costs. I am grateful that my family still loves me and they have become beautiful people in spite of everything by the grace of God! I am grateful now to discover that just making that choice has put me in position to discover I spared myself the misery of knowing I contributed to the lack of wellness to many women because of my desire to be successful financially. Now I can speak from a professional perspective that, as women we have to ask ourselves if we are really willing to die for beauty, literally. We have to personally research our journey in wellness for ourselves and our families. We are the first teachers to the next generation; ask yourself, what kind of teacher will you be? What will you pass on, tradition or knowledge based on research findings? It is time for women to take their rightful place in our society; at the right hand of our all intuitiveness (link to all knowledge, All Powerful, All- Knowing source of the Universe, by your choice of Names) and make the difference in someone’s life! Let it begin with me and maybe you can Glimpse into your future!
I am proud to represent this product line, professionally because Xango with Beverly Hollister’s leadership and passion has driven the science behind it towards a great result making differences in people’s lives, men and women. This product is revolutionizing how we approach our personal care items in our homes and affecting the wellness of our families literally through our biggest organ, our Skin!! I encourage you to take a serious look at this product and its magnificent ability to change your skin in more ways than imaginable. Listen to what you are reading in journals and News Broadcasts concerning toxic levels in the products in your homes affecting your wellness every day. Do you experience headaches, blurriness, asthma, depression, diarrhea, auto immune conditions, hormone imbalances, etc… these conditions are just a few to cause concern leading to greater challenges in health. Start checking the labels in your medicine cabinets, your skin care products, personal care products, household products and you will discover the links to your health concerns. Don’t let conveniences and image cost you your health and wellness. This is one of the areas that you still have choices to make that can affect the outcome of your families’ wellness. I am with all of you in this journey so, feel free to call or email me if I can come to your home and share a skin nutritional class with you and four of your friends for about 45 min. Be aware and chemical free in your choices towards great health. Much love to all of you.
Brenda Williams

Portion of article borrowed, read complete article at:


Thinning Hair in Women: Warning Sign of Underlying Health Issues

Author: Barbara Minton, Natural Health Editor

Hair products containing toxic chemicals promote hair loss

Sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS) is the dominant ingredient in almost all shampoos sold in traditional outlets such as supermarkets, drugstores and discount centers. In addition to having toxic effects on your immune system, SLS has been shown to corrode hair follicles and impede hair growth. It has been blamed for many cases of hair loss. The Material Safety Data Sheet provided by the U.S. government says exposure to SLS can lead to burning, coughing, wheezing, laryngitis, shortness of breath, headache, nausea and vomiting. The American College of Toxicology says SLS stays in the body for up to five days and maintains residual levels in the heart, liver, brain, and lungs.

Over-treated hair is another cause of hair loss in women. Hair dyes, permanents, and relaxers do serious damage to the hair and scalp whether they contain lye or not. They are made with toxic chemicals that must be detoxified by the liver, and are identified by the immune system as foreign invaders. Thus health of the liver and the immune system are compromised by use of these products. When the liver is busy trying to detoxify an onslaught of foreign chemicals, estrogen metabolism may not be properly completed and breast cancer may be promoted. An immune system busy fighting off an invasion of foreign chemicals may not be able to prevent infection or identify and destroy abberant cells. Damage from dyes and relaxers can only heal when those potions are no longer used on the hair.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008


I wish everyone could feel my face!! Now, don't everyone rush over to feel it, but it is beyond belief! I started using the new Glimpse Skin Care Nutrition the first day of Convention in Salt Lake City, Nov.10,2008. After the first day I was feeling something really different going on with my skin. It was magical, is the only word I can find to describe it! My skin hasn't felt this silky since I was 16!! You all that know me,knows that I work out in the elements as a Truck Driver. Of course, the softer side of me that has been a cosmotologist since 1981, zoomed in on this "all green" skin care nutrition because there has never been anything on the Market that can match this composition scientifically! I was so amazed when I read the medical research and even more amazed when I saw how this product was going to be marketed to the public!Wow!! This is unheard of in the Beauty Industry, because usually this kind of discovery is reserved for the "Rich and Famous" or overpriced to where the average citizen cannot afford it! I am so proud to be a part of this introduction to our general public and to be a part of the promotion for financual security to all who participate! This is so exciting and it couldn't come at a better time for the wellness of humanity and our economy.This is really the sharing of wealth because everybody wins in this distribution plan!!I want to invite everybody to share the excitment and let me feel your skins nutrition!
Check out : My Mangosteen link and you will see what all the excitment is about, along with how the chemicals in other products are killing us, literally!!


I can't explain the excitment from this XANGO Convention!! It was like I attended an International Convention among the Bahai's!! There was love , excitement, sharing, caring for other Nations, celebration for wellness, but most important was the United effort to Unite all nations to make a difference in the well being of others through nutrition and financual security!! I observed the making of 54 Millionnairs this year, walk across the stage within Xango( even in this economy!)!! What does this mean to me? One of the Founders explained it best, we must exceed all our expectations to better humanity!! It is through the success of our efforts that can better position us to affect all those that surround us!! For me to really understand this I have had to experience lack in my life due to the experiences in our economy to know that this is something I don't care to continue in,nor do I wish it for my friends and family! With what I witnessed XANGO doing around the world with it's profits, confirmed to me that I Am in the right place of alignment for my wellness!! I would like to encourage all of you to "catch this wave", with me as XANGO changes the world with it's uniting spirit .Check out the "all Green", products and the work of it's founders at:

Monday, September 1, 2008


WOW!! It's beginning Fall already, where has time went? We all have been enjoying Summer and now we are breezing into Fall. I have been reminded to enjoy my youth and now I have to remember that September is a time of new resolutions as Summer's lighthearted serenade ends. The beginning of the year has been our planting time, so maybe our havesting time will be great. Let's get in our kitchens and see what kind of recipes we can conjure up for all to enjoy. I am looking forward to a delightful testing of the new adventures we have experienced these last few months. Let the cooking begin!! Happy Seasoning, Sacredflower

Thursday, May 22, 2008


In the essence of sharing this sacred moment in time for me, I have been granted permission by parties involved to share my moment in time with them, with all of you here at The Writer's Café. I have omitted original names to protect the privacy of others but yet to share the moment is a bounty from the experience.

Turning into the driveway the ladies step up to the car and tell us that we can go on through, up to the big house and follow the directions of the attendants to park by the barn. They had been parking people over by the church across the street because of limited parking on the grounds of the Bed and Breakfast Inn. I was so excited to have finally arrived after traveling through the winding beautiful countryside. Everyone that we passed had beautiful smiling faces. We were all so excited and patiently had been waiting for this joyous occasion well over two months. The holy union that was finally taking place, between the pastor and her partner was something we all had just been beaming about, as everyone buzzed around assisting in any way that they could the last week before this wonderful day of sunshine finally arrived.

E. and I had been talking all week about how ironic that on my birthday the law was passed in San Francisco, California for gay marriages to be legal and two days later, the pastor and her partner would be having their ceremony that was already set long before this happy occasion had even been recognized. I didn't realize that the debate was even on the ballot again, because I had been so busy, just like everybody else. We lived in the South anyway, but we were as happy as if the issue was being debated right here. There are a lot of us, that doesn't even think that it should be an issue of debate, because a holy union has nothing to do with the laws of the land except that the civil rights of those involved are being abused and discriminated against, whereby some unions are not. Being able to want to protect those you care about, whether it's through insurance or purchases legally should not depend on a gender match up. Well anyway, we all are going to enjoy this happy occasion today because it is blessed by God through this beautiful weather, a beautiful location, surrounded by wonderful family and friends.

The archway by the lake and a half moon setting of chairs is like a fairy tale. The setting of the special table for the cakes and the huge tent give a clue that there are many more to be expected to arrive shortly. We have arrived in time to be the first seated, and I was wonderfully guided to my seat, so professionally by friends. The professional photographer was all over the place, busy doing his thing. E. stepped over with the rest of the smoking crew in the designated smoking area. The background of the lake made my mind just begin to float on the sweet breezes of the lake. This background of sheer beauty and calmness made everything so elegant. The winding road around the lake coming in gave everything an enchantment feeling and the yellow ribbons on the trees made them appear all dressed up. While everyone was getting seated E., worked her way back over by me. People were getting settled in for the next exciting moments that would change a lot of people's opinions about what a Holy Union could look like.

Our friends had really set the bar for others with a class act! This union was going to be about a truly spiritual, significant moment marked in their journey together into an evolving mystery that only the Creator knew of their true destinies and they were willing to commit to this journey together before God and all her children. God showed up with all of us to bless the day with icing on the cake.

Beginning the ceremony was a beautiful procession song, “The Power of the Moment", by Chris Rice, then there were Words of Welcome and Opening Prayer, then a reading entitled “Significant Hours”, written by Albert Schweitzer, then there was a beautiful song sung by a cherished male friend of the church. The scripture reading was done from Colossians 3 versus 12- 17. The pastoral address delivered by their two female friends was spellbinding as poetry. When the declaration of intent was spoken, everyone was at attention as if taking notes. Then the community affirmed that we were in this together as a family. The couple was in a state of heavenly bliss, as they spoke their poetic hearts to one another with the fresh backdrop of the most beautiful and natural chorus performed by God's creation, the birds of various sounds sung in harmony as if they were summoned to arrive right at this moment in time. There could not have been a more perfect evening without a flaw I had ever witnessed. It was as if God had prepared it Herself. Then the brides were turning towards one another for a breathtaking moment that we all had been waiting for, to exchange their vows. We then witnessed the significance of the rings being exchanged as explained by their pastoral friends from their mother Church, two wonderful ladies! They began explaining the symbols of the rings to expand into an even larger circle of family as they continue to grow together on this never ending journey, mentioning that we all would grow with them in this binding circle of commitment.

The brides then moved over to another altar that contained three glass containers, whereby they chose to do a symbol of unity. Each one picking up a vase, in one vase there was blue sand and in the other there was yellow sand, they began to combine the two colors together into the middle container. They were demonstrating that by unifying together these two colors they created a new color green, a color that could not exist without equal parts of yellow and blue. Neither primary color relinquished it's realness but each retained its original splendor because of no chemical reaction-no exchanging of particles-just a mixing, a blending-two things of beauty coming together to yield a new and different display.

We all received a personal letter at our arrival that explained a few of the threads that created the tapestry of their life together. The unity symbol was one of them. They also shared in this letter what “Living in the Moment”, meant to them and that this was the theme for their day! I would like to quote from their letter their thoughts about this theme, because it will remain a part of me and my shared moment with them for ever:
“When you live in the moment, everything is fresh and new all of the time. When you live in the moment, life becomes a fragile chain of random thoughts and happenings that are held together by precious memories of single moments in time. Peaceful pandemonium, held together by love.”
A female friend stepped up to the microphone to sing out the smiling brides as they made way towards the tent for all the hugs and kisses and pictures of this joyous occasion.

This was a shared moment, I will cherish forever. I know in my heart of hearts that the Sacred Feminine love of God was smiling among us all as She looked upon her garden of flowers in full bloom embellishing all their beautiful hues of diversity, representing young and seasoned, diverse of gender and sexual orientation as well as cultural diversity. Sitting under the big tent enjoying the floral fragrance off the breezes, I was approached by a dear spiritual brother that whispered to me if I would do the honor of asking the blessing before we broke bread together on this special occasion. This was another confirmation from the Mother Goddess of us all because little did this servant know of my story, that in my growing up I was always within myself complaining to God that where there was a gathering of men and women no one would ask a woman to bless the gathering, well, on this special day, the Sacred Feminine of God let me know she was smiling down on all of us. I graciously accepted the invitation with a smile and gazed upward. After the meal I looked around at all the beautiful smiling faces and once again I could feel my spirit stirring and I requested to speak to the gathering for a sharing of a short story with the brides.

I shared an experience I had about 10 or 12 years earlier, whereby I had a spiritual calling to have a one human family gathering. I was told in my spirit to just put out the call and they would come. I trusted that and proceeded with my part, not knowing what to expect but trusting that I was doing my part. I created an altar that represented various ancestors around the world and offered up prayers. I asked everyone to bring something that represented their ancestors and place it on the altar for a building of bridges from the spirit world into the physical world. People began responding and came in “standing room only” numbers! It was one of the happiest times of my life simply because they showed up. I was in a corner crying when a man of African descent approached me to see if I was okay. I told him it was tears of joy, because I didn't expect such a unified response. He reminded me that when our hearts have the right intent and motivation to be receptors we attract to us those that reflect what we send out. This was simply a display of the love I was sending out returned to me by those that showed up. This was why I shared this story with my friends because their love for one another and others is authentic, which in return has brought back to them, many fold in the faces of those that surround them. One of the prettiest smiling faces, there was the smile on the face of the Pastor's mother. The joy she must have felt at this gathering surely made her proud of her daughter and partner to witness their commitment to God and their calling to such a degree as to share this moment with her and their family could make her heart sing praises of peace

In our leaving the grounds E. and I agreed that this would be a moment that we shared together in a sacred setting whereby would be embedded in our soul memories forever. Passing in front of the lake on our way out I looked up and could just feel our Sacred Mother smiling down on all the love shared on these sacred grounds at the Holy Union!.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Stories; Yours and Theirs

If you want to give your children, family and friends a true gift, give them your story! I realized this by listening to my children detail what they interpreted of my story. In reality they were telling their stories from being with me because I would catch myself saying to myself, as if I was crazy, who are they talking about! That wasn't who I was, what I was feeling or saying. It was puzzling to hear them or figure out why they felt the way they did but I realized this was their story with me it.

Just as a writer develops their characters, it was interesting to hear the life they had given my character in their life story. It caused me to look back at the fact and fiction. In looking at the facts at the heart of the character of me, I realized there were very little in the characters that actually were drawn from me. I became content when I realized that my oldest child, missed about 18 years of info by the time she drew a serious opinion of me at 15. My second child lost about 23 years of my life by the time she got her strong opinions at 15. My third child lost about 25 years of my story before he got to the point of his life, whereby I knew nothing!

The way I came by this equation was. You take the age you were when you birthed your children into the world, and realize that by the time they start developing your character in their stories of who you have been to them for the first 15 years of their lives, they don't know who, where or how you got to be that person that they think they know. They form an opinion with very little facts, and then start drawing the character they called mom or dad. Remember, that at this stage of their lives, they also want very little to do with history, because that old stuff, that doesn't matter anyway, is only the past! They don't understand how the past connects to the present, but you do. That's why it's important for you to tell your story, because when they get old enough to look back to realize that their stories and your friends, family etc… do not mesh together somehow, you can fill in all the missing pieces (all those details that filled out that character they called mom or dad). Never underestimate the power of stories, especially your own!

I can remember when my children were raised by the tenement of, “…if you spare the rod, you spoil the child). Of course this was before all the laws were put in place, whereby if you discipline your child it could be considered abuse. I remember all of Dr. Spock's theories of child rearing, spanking less, explaining more intellectually. (Time out) so, I did a little of both, whatever was necessary, a balance was the goal. I am all for progressive thinking, is just that you have to understand the hand you were dealt and what is needed. Now, that's wisdom! (Just my opinion!).

A lot of parents today do not appreciate any of the values and wisdom in yesterday's application of discipline. You have to know how to interpret yesterday's message for today's world. If you spare the discipline, you will spoil the child. What does that mean? It's kind of like,"reading the handwriting on the wall". You need to see the signs and act accordingly. If you come upon spoiled food, what does that bring into your mind? Rotten, stinking, obnoxious, something you just want to get rid of, quick and in a hurry! Ask your schoolteachers, how they feel about something that is spoiled. That's the way it is with some of our children without guidance and discipline, others just want to get rid of them, period.! Who do you want to emanate in your training?

These are some things that I thought would benefit our communities and help to establish bridges if we will see the value in our stories. The next generation is beginning to gather the missing pieces, and that shows progression. May all our stories be heard in the recipe, and then it will be complete. If I miss a spice, it will not be the same outcome, it will be something else. Enjoy the gathering and reaffirmation of your families, stories.

There is a lot of talk today about spanking being a form of abuse but in a heathly environment, that leaves a big question mark.There are a lot of inexperienced parents today with not enough resources available or the knowledge that we are not born with parenting skills.This story is not about the horrow stories that are valid by a lot of parents, it is about revealing the truth in our stories so that we can correct the outcome of the next generation.Let your recipe be authentic along with the ability to expand.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Free the Mother, Free the Child

It has come to my awareness that through my assessment of spiritual understandings, I have concluded we could be consoled by acknowledging there are many understandings to the soul’s journey back to wholeness. The average person that does not remember, we choose our families, would debate this issue when it does not reflect their ideal image of family. However, every soul attains spiritual growth through choices. It is not up to the individual to decide what the proper path for another soul’s growth is. How do we as adults protect the children if we do not take charge of the exposure or direction of children in the larger population is the question? With great wisdom, we help the mothers. How do we do that, if they are not ready? We plant the seeds of desire. How do we do that? By assessing the situation, and then figuring out what we can assist with. Is education a concern, transportation, child care, health care, exposure to other options, lifestyle choices, etc…?

There has to be a level of respect for a mother in order to help her children. Sometimes children are removed from an environment for physical, emotional, spiritual and mental protection for the overall growth of the child. It is best to continue assessing the parents’ growth with the intention of the family reuniting after certain goals are met. There is knowledge available in research that proves we are a society that chooses to bear children before we are prepared to nurture children, for all kinds of reasons. The number one reason that we avoid is that with unprotected sex, we will raise the chances of becoming pregnant. The human being has sex for sexual gratification, be it in marriage or otherwise. In a state of maturity humans try to prepare and plan for children. In a state of passion, whereby we tend to be trying to avoid our life decisions for the moment through the heat of passion, normally will create an easily conduit for pregnancy. It is after the moment that leads to many other life-changing decisions.

Having the responsibility for another person's well-being is a huge responsibility that sometimes we realize after the fact, we may not have been ready for and the young ones pay the price. It takes great courage to admit it and greater courage to seek help. That is a humbling experience like no other, because the act itself that got one to this stage of life was usually defiance of rules. Nobody likes rules and structure; however, as we mature, we can assess the protection that comes from rules (boundaries) for our children.

To be allowed freedom at 18 requires huge responsibility that will determine your life's journey. The turns in the road can take you in many different directions. There really aren’t any shortcuts in life that don't come with a high price. There is exposure, adventure and mystery on the shortcuts but in the end we all arrive at the same place, asking ourselves if it was worth the ride. The wisdom we gain from our paths should answer that question. That is why we have to assess our situations to observe how to best assist our self and others on the journey. Where are we, where do we want to be and what is the best route for getting there. My assessment is, when you free, the mother you free, the child. Look into the darkness, and you'll find the light.

To be empowered women I think we have to share reminders of tidbits from recipes of herstories, here are some of my favorites:

"We are not born all at once, but by bits. The body first, and the spirit later," Mary Autin wrote in 1912 in "The Promised Land." Our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth."

Simone de Beauvoir put it another way:"One is not born a woman, one becomes one." This becoming takes time. We need time to consider, time to reflect, time to make creative choices,time to emerge from the cocoon,time to clean out our closets, and time to clear away psycic cobwebs so that we might pare down to our essence.

It is God's will that we be beautiful, that we love and be loved and prosper in all good things, " Marianne Williamson reminds us. "It is God's will that we all become the goddesses we were created to be."

"Beauty is an internal light, a spiritual radiance that all women have but most women hide, unconsciously, denying its existance. What we do not claim remains invisible, "Marianne Williamson, in "A Womens Worth"

I have a ritual whereby I read something positive every morning that reminds me of my "Sacred Feminine". These tidbits were taken from "Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy" by- Sarah Ban Breathnach

Sunday, May 4, 2008


A young woman said to my daughter once, “Don’t you want to do more in life than just survive?” It is my opinion that there are not enough women in the world that truly appreciate the “art of survival”. To demean this skill shows a lack of wisdom in this materialistic society that we as women have to survive in today. To not teach our daughters this skill first in life and to understand their priorities before their eye of window-shopping develops, will cause their a#* to overgrow their pocketbook. This in turn will cause them to crash and burn without a life jacket.

The women in our family came from a long line of survivors and my experience with some of my well-to-do girlfriends is that they haven't had to really survive anything. Only to exchange their addresses was the real challenge in a life changing experience.

There is an art to surviving gracefully. Getting through the storm while holding up your head without too many scars takes a lot of patience and tenacity, courage, strong will, a strong faith, ability to believe when there is no light in view, creativeness, to be gutsy, experience, to be able to plan and work your plan(scheming), to be able to fly, vision, positive self-esteem fueled from within, a connection to your goddesses (even when you don't know it), to know that the final word doesn’t lay within how much money you have or see in view, to know that what is yours no one can take it from you, to know that She(God) always has your back, to let God do her work and you do yours (follow thru).

Yes, these abilities are not to be taken lightly, but to know that it comes from good teachers (role models) and practice. It is not a skill that money or degrees can buy or replace.

So, I can say to my daughters, be proud, you had good teachers and tell your friends that survival skills for a woman are the most highly acclaimed skills to be in possession of. Everything else, comes in due time with patience and remember when everyone else falls, a well prepared woman will be left standing. She will always rise and survive!!

Monday, April 14, 2008


“Everyone has a part to play, a position to assume in order to repair systems that often unjustly excluded groups of people.” (Taken from, “Reposition Yourself” by, TD Jakes)

By investing ourselves into what we can do, we can create opportunities for others to take action. What is my part and what position do I assume to make a difference, is the question at hand.

In addressing this question to myself, I came to some conclusions.

1) I enjoy sharing stories of empowerment through writing.

2) By listening to others, I came hear, where blockages may be preventing one from moving forward.

3) By giving feedback to assist one in taking action upon what I hear or see in their story as possible blockages can be beneficial to me and others.

4) My part comes from my experience, and assuming position on my views of the experience. This creates a window into the view from where I stand.

5) To have a voice and to speak out about how to change the experience for others is by my examining how it could have been different for me.

In order for anything to change, you first have to show up, to make the difference.

A shared experience:

When I applied for the job as a city coach operator, another young lady that was African American showed up too. We became the first female bus drivers for that city. It wasn't that women couldn't do the job or even a question whether or not they were qualified. It was a question of whether or not we showed up. The timing was right, because the man that was the manager was in place and had an open mind. He had relocated from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and he needed bus drivers, we showed up. He was a liberal and satisfied that we could do the job. There have been female drivers every since.

There is another part of the story that holds a piece of the puzzle about timing and gatekeepers. When this liberal man was ousted of the job and transferred, somebody was brought in to place as a gatekeeper and not so liberal. When I got pregnant with my second child, his “ole boy” attitude crept in and his “true colors” began to show. Up until this point, he had tolerated my liberal nature. He began to harass me constantly on his views of where I belonged, through his body language and attitude it translated as, “you belong at home, "barefoot and pregnant”. His constant harassing attitude and innuendos about when I planned to take my "leave" because of my “condition”, was very annoying and stressful to say the least. I had the attitude that I was healthier than most of our male drivers that were subject to heart attack at any time, justified by their obesity and medication. I was even more annoyed that our city, allowed his demeanor, in that capacity as manager, whereby I finally decided to resign after my maternity leave was finished. He won that round, because he had me out and he was now the gatekeeper. He is still the gatekeeper after 27 years. I went on to continue in transportation for 27 years, including going over the road as a truck driver with a perfect driving record, I am blessed to say. However, upon several efforts to return to bus driving at the place I started my career, the gatekeeper refused to let me in even when I showed up.

Timing can mean everything. Sometimes it helps to expose, but in other times, the whole system, “ole boys”, are much deeper than it appears on the surface. Once you are in, sometimes in order to stay in one has to jump through hoops to be allowed to stay. This is quite common in the world of men. It is very enlightening to know this as a woman going into a field dominated by men and it's good to know the rules of the game. It's good to know, what is in your nature and what position you assume when you show up, in order to test the timing of change for the whole.

To show up, takes great courage that some don't even realize they have. Necessity is a great motivation. When a woman needs to feed her family, it's not about the ego of what she can do or qualified to do, it is about accomplishing her goal. To have boundaries, is what she had ingrained in her consciousness; good and bad, right and wrong by society, and her environment, but when it comes to feeding her children, that takes precedence over all of humanities acceptable morals that has been established to identify character. If this were not so, we as a species probably would not have existed, even looking back at Eve’s story. What one holds as a necessity is absolute. Look back at the “ole boy’s” posse, it is a necessity to hold certain things (ideas) in place, ask yourself, for what purpose? Before we point the finger at others, maybe we need to look at our own necessities?

In completing this piece, I realize that my taking a position on right timing, which by the way is God's timing, not my own. This piece would not be complete without my once again, quoting T. D. Jakes from his book “Reposition Yourself” in the chapter, Against the Odds, page 67:

Joseph's maturity, born of suffering, serves as a model for us. To his brothers, he said “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20, NIV). Similarly, you must have faith to know that someday you will be able to say the same thing to your enemies, your persecutors, those who called you a loser and those who hurt you along the way. What they intended to harm you, deter you, defeat you, God will use to build you up, to heal you, to secure your success.

We are all underdogs, in a sense, for if we accept what life dictates to us, then the statistics can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But if we dare to rise above and beyond the limitations of our lives, then we grow stronger and wiser, more willing to dream and dream big. (Pg.76)

Now, I have to say a big Amen, to that! I am a testimony to those statements and as long as I breathe I will continue, that being my story and my legacy to my children and their children's children. Find your story and the stories of others from where ever you meet at the bridge to cross over into your promised land, flowing with milk and honey, (abundance) of unlimited prosperity!

Thursday, April 10, 2008


In responding to a comment on another blog I was inspired to share my comments on my own blog because it was profound to me what flowed through me and to respect others and their confidentiality I chose to share only my thoughts. This comment was in response to someone feeling as though they were being belittled among another’s culture of not being able as a woman on her Moontime to participate in a sacred ceremony of “Prayer Circle”. ( !#*# represents names blocked.)

April 5, 2008
I just love the way beloved !#*# describes her feelings of expressing her truth for her Sacred Feminine, a little wobbly in the midst of the "sleepy heads", knowing full well that there is a chance of being in the midst of the "Jezzies". Well, !#*# join a long list of fabulous ladies branded the "Jezzies", if you are going to stand out and up for our Sacred Goddesses! I have been doing a lot of research in the Hidden Herstories of our Sacred Herstory. There have been many wonderful women among us, such as Sue Monk Kidd that have shared their stories along with preserved documentation to satisfy the hunger of our longings.

I am enjoying my Juicy Crone stage of my life because I now have so much more time to spend on my Sacred unfolding into Being! I started this journey at 27, when a Holy Man, my great grandfather, Chief Frank Fools Crow, said to me, "You must travel this path of unfolding...” Every since that time I have wondered what he was refering to but now I understand that he was trying to help me understand that there is a natural process in unfolding for a reason, sometimes beyond comprehension.

!#*#, you are blessed to be sharing your unfolding journey with a man that is willing to do his own work, that you can experience it together. A couple of weeks ago one of my little spiritual grandchildren started her Moontime for the first time. I was listening to my daughter as she told me about the experience and how she was comforting her spiritual niece. She was sharing the special ness and sacredness of this moment in time for her. I was saddened by the thought that we (women) no longer have memories of the female initiations into womanhood as we did in the past. I am currently reading, "At The Root of This Longing", by Carol Lee Flinders and I can truly appreciate her sharing the ceremonies of Inuk and kinaalda from many traditions by many names, from the Navajos, ancient Celts along with others honoring women was very refreshing . Quoting some of her thoughts takes me back in my soul to precious memories forgotten but resonating with truth of the Goddesses within; "... a girl on the brink of womanhood is in a sense a goddess. More precisely, she is our window upon the Goddess." pg.279” While she is undergoing her initiation as a woman, a girl is understood to be inhabited by the Mother and therefore charged with sacred power and able to impart something of this power to others." How grand that this great opportunity in a young girls life that she is recognized by the older women and the community as a Sacred time for the entire society and an empowering moment of transition. Wow, how far we have come from that and how much we have lost!

I plan to create a Sacred Moment for my first granddaughter to make this a Special, Sacred moment as well, she is approaching 12 now, so we are near. She will be the first in this generation of young women for our tribe to feel the power of this moment and that is my task, to bring our memories of Sacred Ceremony for women of the past and bridge them into a New awakening for our future budding of women's awareness of their Sacred Goddesses. I feel the importance now in my Crone years to bridge the gap between our Sacred Feminine and our desire for Feminist Movement. If anyone has ideas of ceremonies for this Sacred moment please share because I feel the need to integrate our experiences with the young girls to empower them now. Thank-you again !#*# for your Vision. Sacredflower

April 5, 2008
Wow !#*#, what a wonderful idea for someone that loves to write and especially since my granddaughter has given instructions to everyone in the family including her mother that she gets to have all my writings when I cross over.

I would like to address the "menses" experience of you and your friend !#*# at the pow wow prayer circle ceremony. That was more of an honor time for you than to keep you out. Among Medicine people it is understood that during our moon time, it is the most powerful time, when our spiritual intuitive abilities are at their highest peak and to participate not only interferes with their process for the group but you also pick up on every energy within the circle which is not what you necessarily want to experience, especially if there is need for a healing. Traditionally the women would have circles for themselves at this time to combine their powers together for the healing of the whole community. We are revered traditionally as healers among native peoples; however a lot is being lost in their culture as well. I know you have probably lived long enough to have become aware of these things since that experience, so I shared this for all that may be interested to do further investigation into other cultures and their ceremonies.

This letter was a jewel for your daughter and I want to thank you so much for sharing. What a wonderful way to share with a young girl about the women in her family in a light that they never would have thought to look for. Sincerely, Sacredflower

April 10, 2008
Hi All,
I am finding that the more I tune into my intuitiveness the more aware I become of those around us. That has been my experience with Medicine People as well, there is that group thinking that is well in tact. To consider the majority wellness rather than the individual process is usually the concern in a gathering. I think what “! #*#” and “! #*#” experienced was that process at the Prayer Circle. It is usually the minority few that are tuned into the need for protection of their "bubble", therefore being able to be of service for the whole, however this is a long process to tear off the layers and to move in empowerment within a community, so, rather than picking out in a crowd who can participate while they are on their Moontime from those that are not ready, the decision is made for the whole. There are tribes that know their communities and do have women participating; it is a process of unfolding. Accepting people right where they are on the path of unfolding can be challenging, I know from experience because I know I myself have been a challenge for a lot of people.

I have had concern about the process of European Culture coming to this continent and thinking that the indigenous peoples had nothing of value in the way of spirituality to learn from and yet they were further advanced now we discover in respect for Mother Earth and her feminine nature. They also honored the Sacred Goddesses that we have allowed the Patriarchal System to destroy out of their fear of feminine power. I would also add that they already were respectful for diversity and honoring it ,which we, 2000 years later after Christianity, have yet to learn how to live in our own skins and practice what we preach, "love thy neighbor as thyself".

I would like to quote this from “The Values of Belonging", by Carol Lee Flinders to make my point.
...their powers of observation are the stuff of legend. But they see distinctions as bridges, not barriers. What's significant for them about the difference between two phenomena is where they meet, and that they do meet (and typically overlap), however much they might differ. Many Native American tribes, for instance, regard a "manly woman" or a "womanly man" as spiritually gifted (and in fact as a gift to their tribe). Like Tiresias, a figure in Greek mythology who was both man and woman, such people know the things that women know, and they know the things that men know as well. Called “two spirits" by California Indians, they're believed to be able to see the world whole and in depth, because they see out of both eyes. (pg. 35)

There is a spiritual truth within my soul that revealed this to me as a child and I began to see the world out of both eyes at that time until now and I am grateful for that. I've come to understand that is why there are very few places I have a "sense (intuitive) of belonging", because I become aware quickly when people are only looking out of "one eye".

It is not easy to accept where we are on the path sometimes, much less where someone else may be but I learned from my oldest daughter, the "Values of Belonging", in her comment the other day when she said, "I hurt myself more by separating from others because of differences, than just choosing to be still and accepting others for where they are. Thereby in the space of "being" it will be revealed why they are who they are and where they are. With patience I can learn to be just who I am and be Whole." Love to All, Sacredflower

Saturday, March 8, 2008


My name is Laquetia Doreen Williams. I come from the womb of a vibrant white female, which was nearly killed by her uncle once he found out the child growing inside of her was the seed of an African American/ Native American Indian male. Her name is Brenda Kay Harris Williams and my father name is Jerry Rowell. My mother had to run away from the bullets aimed at her to save my life. My father gave up his right to raise me to save his life. This is the world I know… a world where I learned how to survive from day one. Everything about me has been about the need to survive the abuse, ignorance, and lack of love around me. I am 33 years old and now a mother to a beautiful twelve year old girl, named Jasmine. It is because of her I am going back to college. In everything I have fought against, I did not see that I was teaching my own daughter all my fears. I was teaching her how to survive, not, how to truly live up to all she already is. This had to stop, the cycle of no self worthiness passed down from the women before me in my family. This is one of my main reasons for coming to Guilford College. I work at Aetna (insurance) as a customer service representative. Although, my love is working with kids. I would like to get my Bachelors degree so that I may serve my Faith internationally. It is called travel teaching, I want to travel to another country and teach English as a second language for a profession. This way I can give to the community a tool that can be useful, in return for the many gifts I would receive just by being there. I have friends that are already serving the Faith in this capacity. They remind me of my responsibility to serving and the ability to grow immensely from it. My religious background is Baha’i. My mom being the person she is has investigated many different religions and has taken me along with my siblings on the journey with her. But it wasn’t until she meet some Bahai’s that I became immediately drawn to my relationship with GOD. I went to many different churches growing up never once did I feel as though I was a child of GOD. I mean I knew it on the outside but did not feel it on the inside until I started reading the Writings of Bahaullah. All the questions I had about why so many different religions existed ,why people treat one another so cruel just because they are not used to experiencing anything foreign to them, etc..was answered for me finally. What I have learned is the answer was always there in all the Holy Writings. (Bible, Koran, Kitab-i- Aqdas) Sorry for getting off subject. This is my first course in Religious Studies. I am amazed at the many different roads religion has traveled, just here in America. I really want to learn the history, just so I can see where people get their thought patterns from. As far as my knowledge on the subject of African American religion as a course of study, I have none. Only what I have witnessed in growing up in the community. I know it is where I find my center when I am lost. I find a lesson in every passage I read, not one that is explained to me by someone else (preacher). I honestly feel everyone has the capacity to know God on their own if they choose to. This is where I have mixed views with the Church hence my getting kicked out of one at a young age for my views. Yet it also teaches me of my staying power, the ability to endure all things and rise above my fears to recognize I am a daughter of God. To witness women come alive in their own rights in the churches after being told over and over again they are nothing, feeds me on so many levels. That kind of teaching I have not received outside of the African American Churches. And I have been a lot of places thanks to my mom quest to build a real and true relationship with God. Honestly I am taking this course so that I may learn of my heritage ,the dates,times,places,events that led up to this moment in time. I want to learn why I do some of the things I do unconsciously. I am learning now where some of the thinking of folks come from and it is extremely painful at times. But how can I grow and teach my daughter if I first don’t acquire it. The only thing I think I can contribute to the course is my honesty and the fact that I know that if we take the time to create relationships with others that are different than what we are use to, maybe no one else will have to be strip of their family history based on who they love. Right now I can’t tell my daughter where she comes from other than my mother and father. I never went back to find out because it was too painful for even my mother to revisit. Therefore she has created a family for me thru friendships she has made along the way. My family consists of Persians, Mexicans, African Americans, Irish, Muslims, Jews, Asians, everything and everyone under the Sun. This is my heritage and now my daughter’s. What I feel I can learn most from this course is how people categorize their beliefs. How I can speak in different circles as well since my professor is big on words and their meaning. I have a hard time getting my thoughts out so this should be very interesting and challenging at the same time. I also feel I can learn how to read the works of theologians and interept what they are saying. I am finding it is necessary for me to carry a dictionary.

(A Responce to My Daughter)

What’s Natural? Ask My Daughter!

I was sitting and proofing one of my daughter's papers for her college course on African-American religion. When I had an epiphany, what's natural? In this paper I saw a lot of myself coming through her and her experiences. I would say that is natural.

There was pain, humor, chaos, joy and sharing of stories in her paper and I would say that's natural. What may not seem natural to some could be perfectly natural to others.

I was saddened to learn that my daughter would be dropping this class due to a clash of personalities between her and the instructor but that can be natural too. I felt they could learn a lot from one another and their experiences. Maybe in another place and time.

My daughter had an attitude that I felt was natural. She felt offended that the instructor, whom was white, was teaching a course about a topic from an observation perspective rather than a natural experience,whom she felt should have been at least receptive of the differing opinions by those she was speaking of. I thought that that was a natural response. However, there was much they could have gained from their debates.

The instructor complained about my daughter's attitude and what she felt was judgmental in nature. That was a natural response from her, I ascertained. Again, what is natural for some it is not for others? My daughter felt perfectly natural in her responses coming from her experiences.

I think this class should have been titled, “The History of the Black Church”, and then it would not have been interpreted as a religion that formed and belonged to the African-Americans. This was my daughter's natural complaint, that Africans did not adopt Christianity. It was forced on them in slavery and everything that was natural and disrespected was stomped out as invalid by people that looked like her instructor.

Now, my daughter sat in a classroom with an instructor who was offended by her natural responses to a topic about her natural ancestors and she couldn't relate to the instructor being offended.

It should have occurred to the both of them that what they were experiencing by choice of their passions was completely natural. When we take the time to realize how much we agree with people rather than a debate of egos (conditioned thinking) we can get to the core of what we really believe. To consider that this instructor must have had a deep interest in people learning history, because of her course she chose to teach, is admirable. When one looks at the lack of understanding among diverse groups it’s usually because they lack historical information. To offer this course is an asset to the school, but there has to be an acceptance of every body, that there will be natural responses due to experiences.

For the instructor, not to expect this, is a tragedy as well to the students. Age also will play a factor in teaching history. Dates and times memorized by someone else's definition are not always blatantly accepted as fact, according to experience. There should be room for debate and openness to a natural flow.

What I would like to say to instructors in these situations with students that have passion in their voice, is to take a moment with them in private to say that they may have some valid points. However, it doesn't pertain to your lesson plan. To abuse ones authority over a class by trying to shut down a voice only destroys your own voice. We have to encourage others to evolve or we all will die! This is a natural organic process.

I would like to encourage my daughter as well, along with her instructor to continue to hear their voices from within, as it evolves and finds a venue where they can be heard. That is a natural process as well for healing of the mind, heart and soul.

I would like to say that I am very proud that my daughter is finding the power of her voice through the pen and I am honored that she is sharing that here at “The Writer's Café”.

Monday, March 3, 2008

There Are Those That Just Don't Believe S!#T Stinks!

My experience has taught me that “shock treatment” will get someone's attention. That is what the title of this piece was intended to do; did it get your attention? If so, let's move on!

I don't know how many times I have heard this phrase before, but when I heard it nicely stated in a Sunday morning service, it was quite humorous. “There are some people that just don't believe poop stinks!” This analogy was used in the essence of understanding God's timing, how appropriate! Using the analogy of David having to spend years in the caves smelling other people's poop until his destined time to step into his called role, really drove home the message of God's timing for me.

I know I have spent well over 35 years smelling other people's poop; while God has been patiently preparing me to just be bold and blazing while following through on my guidance from the sacred feminine side of my being. It is not always an easy task to be true to myself, first in listening to my voice, then to truly hear it and lastly, but not least, to follow through. To hear my voice creates the challenge to not allow doubt to question its authenticity. To learn how to trust myself has been a journey in learning to trust God, where She truly lys within me.

There are not a lot of people I come in contact with daily that can appreciate an attitude of being audacious. For a woman to be assertive or audacious is misinterpreted as being egotistical or bossy, however, if she does not stand up for what she knows to be true within her own knowingness, she betrays the guidance from within herself. Self betrayal for me is the worst kind of betrayal, because it is the one you live closest to and constantly are reminded of.

This society has so many double standards that we catch ourselves showing up with traces of it in our own actions. When the red flag goes up, its time to do some cleanup work. The process can be slow and very tedious, especially when we have just floated along the shore thinking that we were not infected at all because we were a little off shore. It takes going out completely in the middle of the ocean, where no land or rescue is visible, to realize how much we need to immerse ourselves into gods ever- loving embrace to see our true selves evolve away from the sludge which we’ve been drifting in near the shore. It's very hard to avoid the residue when we all grew up from the same sewage of humanity's waste product of force fed theologies, only to regurgitate it back onto Earths floor because of its un-digestible dead matter. I do feel that as long as people are continually fed dead food, they will remain dead themselves until they have a desire to live and demand something different. I also feel and believe that in a dead state, you can not smell your own poop, much less anyone else's. Being stagnant will move you or kill you, the choice is individual, then it moves the World!

I realize that every moment I have spent smelling other peoples “poop”, I have spent smelling my own as well. We all have flourished from the same garbage dump, but I also realize that even in the murkiest waters, the sacred flower, the “Lotus” has blossomed. I am grateful for my survival, and I am grateful to the ones that are not afraid to put a little fire under my seat when I get a little constipated. There is nothing worse for the mind, body or soul than getting clogged up. So, if someone wishes to stop smelling the funk, I guess we need to get off the pot and do something about staying clear that timing, can mean everything in the bigger picture.

I am firmly convinced that poop stinks, and no amount of cleaning it up (sprays, candles, etc…) is going to tempt me into tolerating it in my life. That is why it is always wise to pay attention to the timing of when you need an overhaul cleansing.

For a student that can truly appreciate a good lesson plan, I am grateful when a teacher takes the time to observe her audience and follows through as her inner guidance guides her in blazing the trail for others! For me, this is the ultimate gift of being used at our greatest capacity. When there is resistance to exercise our latent muscles it is a sure sign that it is time! It is true submission to our higher calling, and God's timing, when we choose to hear and submit.

Just remember, the seed that is the latent within the most potent manure, brings forth a beautiful flower, with lots of water and wonderful sunshine (Light)!

Thursday, February 14, 2008


What it means for a woman to lose her home, I think it's very different than it is to a man. The attachment is very different. The home for a woman is a womb of protection. This is the secret place where she locks herself away from the chaos of the world. This is the place of her true identity. Within the walls of her home lye little segments of herself that reveal her sacred feminine, which is safely protected.

When a woman becomes settled within her home, she starts to allow herself to unwind the layers of the sacred feminine to reveal her innermost desires. Through the colors, pictures, foods, furniture, arrangements of art, her writing, her music and the entertainment of memories created with family and friends, she expresses parts of herself that may not be seen anywhere else.

For a woman to lose her home, it creates a disturbance that stirs the waters within the depths of her soul. In her head she can be at terms with this shift, but in her heart, there is a war going on, that even she can't wrap herself around. Especially if it is an intrusion of an event she had no choice or control in, she fights with the inevitable. Be it natural disaster, companies closing, relocations, divorce, death, they all have an unnerving effect on the woman's psyche, because her home is not just a possession for the highest bidder. Going out into the unknown is a risk and fear of survival. It doesn't matter how much experience, a woman has with the nomad life. She still dreads the unknown.

What could this mean and represent for the spiritual life of a woman's spirit, I would ask myself? The unknown… “to find the light… you must reach into the darkness.”(elayne)
To lose oneself is like losing their soul, and to regain it would mean going into the darkness to discover within ones fears, where the light (truth) resides.

Looking at these things in retrospect, for one, could mean that a woman could hide her true self behind the possessions and distractions of her home. If all of these things are removed she would be forced to swim or drown. Life is full of changes, and when we can learn to just ride the wave of change effortlessly we can come out with less scarring and reap the benefits from the journey.

Life is still an adventure, no matter what the experience, so, for all my sisters out there that may be riding the wave, hold on, and may you have a graceful landing. May we all keep each other in thought and prayer. It is through our connectedness that we steal rise!

I dedicate this piece to V-Day all over the world but especially to V-Day in New Orleans! Sacredflower


There I sat at the kitchen table with my hands held out pleading with the ever merciful God to please help me understand what was happening in my world! This morning was like every other morning of the last two years of my life since the company sold out and decided along with the buying company that none of the union members would be rehired.

I would go to bed praying to God to help me understand the whirlwind of changes in my life that I didn't ask for (at least consciously I didn't think I did) but that may mysteriously debated. Upon waking in the mornings, I would go to the kitchen table to say my prayers, then the writing in my morning pages, read my daily affirmations and just know everything was going to be all right. When I looked at the news I knew everything was already all right, because I wasn't alone in my battle. The whole world was in this struggle together. People were losing their jobs/homes and everything they had ever worked for.

Maybe that was the problem; maybe we all had the wrong view about the American dream? The picture that government and religion had painted for peace and security wasn't working anymore on a global level. We as a society was being pushed to broaden our views toward a global society, but a lot of the old ways were still in place.

The seams of the fabric originally sewn together were busting apart and tearing the human family apart as well. Nation fighting against nation for the love of money to the extent that if anybody gets in the way they will be annihilated has become the norm. That is a lot of what I was feeling as I watched the news, but on this particular morning,I looked at the pile of bills being way over my current budget, and I knew more change was on the way.

I picked up one of the envelopes to open it and then I realized this was one that had fallen between the cracks. I had forgotten to pay for car insurance, oh my God! There was no money in the bank until payday because the mortgage had just been paid! What was I to do? I called to get my insurance reinstated! Back in the red again! That was the straw that broke the camel's back! I broke into tears as I cried out to God, I knew this kind of stress was not good for my health, so I got up, got dressed and faced the inevitable. I went out to look at apartments to see what I was facing.

I have always known that God guides my steps. It is the one thing I have always been sure of. The first place I went was right down the street from my home, same neighborhood, but I would be renting, paying someone else's mortgage as homeowners would say. My God! The rent nowadays was as much or more than my mortgage. Some places were a little less; I just had to give up so much that was part of who I had become.

The last place I went to visit was where a dear friend of mine who lived with her parents, of whom were back from a lifetime missionary work, pioneering in another country. While I was viewing the site they crossed my mind. I thanked the young man that had shown me the apartments after much discussion on his experience in Iraq and the many questions of life still in his heart and mind. My heart wept for the experiences I knew he would never forget. My one hope is that his heart will yearn for world peace and that he may seek for his future children, ways to avoid wars. I was aware that he was such a kind soul and had only obliged his commitment to the agreement he had signed. He expressed his respect and admiration for my friend and her wonderful parents, especially her dad. I certainly did understand why he admired her dad, because I too knew he was the kindest soul one would want to meet. I got ready to leave and I could feel my visit wasn't over. I hadn't seen my friend’s parents, in over eight years. So I got out of the car went back inside to ask the agent to give them a call and guide me to their apartment for a visit. That visit turned into a 6 1/2 hour reunion.

When I got to the top of the stairs, there stood Oscar, just as I remembered him, big smile and a loving heart! I felt so much love immediately, wow! What a wonderful experience! Finally getting in the house like two children reuniting after years of being separated, I stand there waiting for Winnie to come out of the bedroom and I'm so excited when I see her come around the corner! Oh my god, her beautiful smile hasn’t changed a bit. There have been many occasions that they have been back in the country but we haven't been able to just make the connection, however, God's timing is always perfect!

We had served on committees together in the past and we were aware that there are still things about people's personal stories you don't get to glimpse when you're busy working on the goal of God's business. On this day, we would still be doing God's business of being there for our brothers and sisters when they are going through a storm. We shared so much through our stories. We were catching up and learning more about each other than we ever had, by sharing our experiences, because we were open to God's lead. I can't express enough the power of friendship when it is rooted in God's love for humanity and their well being, it takes on a life of it's onwn for God's purpose! Oscar and Winnie were God's servants in saving my sanity on this day and awesome servants they were, in restoring my faith back to a level where I could focus on the task at hand.

I still don't know where God is taking me from this point but I do know, the loving sacred feminine side of God embraced this crying soul on February 11th, 2008, through two wonderful friends that were in the service of loving God's children and they opened the door to let me in. I just want to remind all the crying souls out there somewhere to be reassured that they can never under estimate the power of friendship and your first loyal friend is the Almighty, ever-knowing God that will not forsake you, even in your doubtful moments of worthiness. “Know ye not, that thou were created noble?” (Baha’i Writings) “Be not afraid, for thou art with you!” (Christian Writings) These words keep me reassured, even in my darkest hours. I am grateful for good friends and the ability to follow God's lead even when I can't see, but to trust the power of friendship to sooth my wailing heart is a confirmation from God that everything is going to be all right!

I dedicate this piece to my great friends, Winnie and Oscar and to the Power of Friendship!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


I was having a conversation with a friend the other day that was worth pondering. He was sharing with me that he had his wife to sew a patch on his leather vest to make a statement about something he felt strong about. The patch read, “I Love Lesbians”. I thought that was a very bold statement to make coming from a man very sure of his sexual identity. After having a long conversation with him, I realized quickly that he had a lot of strong views that consisted of his desires for unity through diversity, which also had always been my life theme. He knew a lot of people that were diverse in their views on life.He knew gay couples, interracial couples, couples with age differences etc… This was a man in his late 50's that refused to allow other people's fears and ignorance due to lack of knowledge of something to put him in a position to be judgmental or to persecute another person's personal choices.

We talked about people's desire and inquisitiveness into other people's personal choices to reveal them, for what purpose? Do people want to know another person's choices because of their own personal motive to pursue or try to just judge someone to avoid their own issues? I grew up learning from the guys that normally when someone was in pursuit of something they would ask as many questions as possible to plan their strategy, to win the task at hand, which was to conquer their prey.

Curiosity has its purpose as well. I feel that to gain more knowledge about something it’s best attained when one takes themselves to the source of their curiosity and ask questions. When one asks questions from the proper source, they can make decisions that are proper for them personally and align themselves accordingly. I realized after talking to my friend that he had done that for all the right reasons and was satisfied. I respect him for his endeavor and his conversation was truly enlightening.

I had to laugh when he shared a story with me about a time he wore his vest to his son-in-law's for dinner and was questioned about the patch. His reply was, of course I love lesbians. I ain’t mad at them, because they are appreciating the same thing I am, the beauty of a woman. I realized that his son-in-law may have taken that statement on a sexual level, but I would be willing to bet that if his son-in-law took it to a deeper level of conversation he would discover this man's insight of the real beauty of a woman, (which therein lies much deeper than the surface pleasures of life),the wisdom shared would broaden his views in a life changing way. Thank you my friend for a conversation to ponder.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008


Dear Sallie Beth,
I just got home from your going home celebration, and I have to say that I am grateful to God that I was allowed to see parts of our family through your life experience as short as it was at 53, but very full. When I looked around that church, I saw that your world was much bigger than our family history. I now understand that you understood the healing that was needed in our family was bigger than just the immediate and to satisfy that hunger, you went outside the family walls, just like I did to the bigger family in need. I know this was a healing for you, as it has been for me, because even Jesus had to leave his own home community, family and friends to reach those that were willing to receive Him and his ideas. We were told through many communications of God that if we were going to follow the truths of our heart, we could expect the same. There have been tears in both of our hearts along the way, but by going to your celebration ceremony, I know all of those tears have been worth it. I want to thank you for coming back into my life for such a short time, and it has made a powerful impact on me because I saw standing in that church the power that a generation curse can have on someone's life. To have allowed the curse of a couple of people to affect so many lives within our family and caused us to miss so much sharing is a shame. However, I saw hope in that church through all the lives you touched by staying in that community. You were the person that community needed, not me. To God I am grateful for that. You and I were as much a like, as we were different, but that is the reflection of God within us shining out. I see the breaking of the generational curse in your children, and that means job well done, my sister in Christ. As cousins, we didn't get to grow up together, but in spirit, we did and that reassures me that God will have His way. So, Sallie Beth as your minister said to all of your friends and family in attendance, “When you walk out of those doors, you can make a decision about whether you want to say goodbye to Sallie Beth or just, see you later. It's your choice. She'll be waiting”. Sally Beth, See you later!!
Love, your cousin

Friday, January 11, 2008


Hi everyone. I guess it's appropriate to say Happy New Year. For me, it’s a new year, a new day, everyday, because every moment is the beginning and end. A yesterday, a today and a tomorrow are all in the same moment. Therefore this moment is what is important. So, I'm happy to have it with all of you. It has been a busy time in the kitchen. It is finally time to serve up one of my latest recipes. I hope you enjoy it and I hope all of you have been cooking up some of your own. I'm looking forward to taste testing some of them. Serve it up!!

If someone asks you the question, when is enough, enough for you? Just tell them when I no longer ask why, and seek answers, and then it will be enough. I feel that it is by Divine design that we seek to know. There are lots of people that do not want to answer questions either because they do not know the answers or because they have something to hide but that doesn't make you wrong for asking. I have asked so many questions in my life of others that a lot of the time, I know they hate to see me coming, but that's okay. I know that all of the answers come from a source much bigger than any of us and humanity has even tried to hide answers as they flowed from the reservoir at times, for their own selfish desires. I believe that no matter how someone or organizations try to hide the truth, it will come to the light in due time to reveal itself, because the purpose of life is to free oneself. If I was to look at slavery as an example I would take note that generally when people are taken into slavery the slave owner tries in the beginning, to bind up all the knowledge of their plan. The slave owner tries to make the slave abase themselves to make them believe they don't deserve any better. Then, when the slave begins to ask questions, the slave owner gets furious because they know that this is the beginning of them losing their grip on that one's slavery. The more that slave asks questions, the freer they become, because when you dip into a well that has no water, you go to one that does. When you have that first, fresh taste of that cool life-saving element (water), your life is renewed and you will always want more. When a soul gets a taste of freedom, there is no turning back. When any part of the story is left out, it is not enough to have just some of the parts that someone else decided is important for you to be free. Ask the question, when is enough, enough for you. When you have a constant flow in the river it refreshes the soul to partake. Don’t let anyone stop your flow of seeking just because they can't or don't want to give you the answers. Ask yourself, what is the source of their motives to not encourage you to find the answers you seek? I don’t think any of us have all the answers, and that is why no one has the right to dictate another's soul’s journey toward fullness. Keep open your flow and switch directions if it means filling your cup for the partaking of more awareness. Ask yourself if you are the master of your destiny this year or are you the slave to someone else's destiny. Ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find. Don't be discouraged by what you may find because the truth will set you free from the darkness. As you find your light, share it with others because we all are in this together, but sometimes we only walk with the Master. May you make the decision this year for yourself, when enough is enough?

This piece is dedicated to my cousin Salli Beth,a Rose whom was cut too soon but will always be in my memory.